<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d7074329\x26blogName\x3dThe+Confessions+of+an+Escapist\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLUE\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttps://celticdream.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttps://celticdream.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d4157482980653575961', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe", messageHandlersFilter: gapi.iframes.CROSS_ORIGIN_IFRAMES_FILTER, messageHandlers: { 'blogger-ping': function() {} } }); } }); </script> The Confessions of an Escapist v3
Thursday, July 29, 2004
3:49 PM

today, LimGC finally agreed to meet our group and discuss the fate of our micro essays (i bet i got the famous F, as usual), but she unexpectedly had to cancel our discussion because she had to rush off immediately; one of her students' mother had passed away.

reality bites doesn't it? someone may be in the pink of health one day, but the very nxt day, he might just be gone. personally, i was very disturbed. someone in college had just lost his/her mum. how would i react if i were in his/her shoes? i mean, its A levels this year and all, how would i ever be able to get the motivation to pull through? times are really hard now i guess. death has been rather apparent these few days, and everyone seems to be coming down with one illness or another (apparently the whole bio department is having a flu, and sCross has chickenpox). yea, we all should try to pay a little more attention to our health ya? don't slog too late into the night, rem to sleep enough. and we ought to appreciate the people around us a little more too. don't be too harsh to anyone. you never know, tomorrow may come and that person may be gone. apologies-to-be will be rendered irrelevant. regret sets in. regret. that's one word i'm really beginning to despise.

we should never trap ourselves in circumstances where we regret our actions. never.

Wednesday, July 28, 2004
3:53 PM

oh well.. smallville ended yesterday, and i didnt even know it was gonna be the last episode? it was so intense? i was waiting for next week's preview and wtf? i discovered yest was the last ep. sigh.. how sad. just when lana aka. kristin kreuk was looking hotter than ever (i could melt under her gaze. enuff said.lol), and lex looked kinda sexy with his bald pate and all (lol?) and that supposed kryptonian girl, she looks like mandy moore! gosh. and the ending was so tragic. one tragedy after the next. well.. we'll just have to wait for the next season eh? i'm a believer now. (although i didnt like the first two seasons =/)

3:37 PM

So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
 
Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something you said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up up so high
On such a breakable thread
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
 
[Chorus:]
 
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

You've got your dumb friends

I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
 
[Chorus]
 
It's nice to know you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done
 
[Chorus x2]
 
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

-My Happy Ending, Avril Lavigne

all you people who say avril's a punk/poser/loser should be shot.  she's just your average teen girl. and she's got issues too.  i like her for her angst.

3:28 PM

Artistic
You are naturally born with a gift, whether it be
poetry, writing or song. You love beauty and
creativity, and usually are highly intelligent.
Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet
also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs.

What Type of Soul Do You Have ?

Tuesday, July 27, 2004
4:11 PM

you know, if i wasn't so hostile and antisocial, i think my social circle would have been like 100x bigger. generally, i classify people into two categories, 'evil' or 'non-evil' (haha teo i was influenced by you). so either you're evil or you're not. to me that is. evil, by my definition would be someone who has bad intentions that would somehow affect me adversely, or someone who's just too retarded or lame for me (so you say, but aren't you lame yourself? go ahead, call me a hypocrite) to even talk to (ie. fucktards). as a result, i've actually unknowingly classified normal, even nice people into the evil category, coz of my paranoia. so i've realised.

today after bio tut, zy suddenly approached me, and he started talking to me about our tutor and that horrendous lesson that we just had, but i kinda held back you know and although we were both headed for the maths lec, i chose to walk by another way, just so that our conversation would just end there. i felt awkward after that. i realise there are alot of people who have been trying to be on friendly terms with me and yet i just shove them away coz i'm so hostile. weird right?

so i've decided, i've got to try to be nicer to people from now onwards.

hmm....should i go for ld tmr? i miss playin da drums! sigh~

Saturday, July 24, 2004
11:49 AM

death in the family can take a heavy toll on the family members, especially if one  was closely attached to the departed soul. its really hard to deal with, when it happens suddenly, without any warning whatsoever. its painful to accept, but one has to face the reality eventually, and move on. but i'm in no position to comment really.. since i've never experienced anything of that sort to date. well.. anyway.. i hope en and her family are alright. take care. 

Wednesday, July 21, 2004
3:55 PM

..yawn. there's no time to blog. i gotta pia the photosynthesis consolidation assignment.. 4 more dreadful questions. not to mention chem bonding assignment. AND chem prac assignment. AND hypothesis testing. AND theory of costs & production essay. and the list goes on....

Tuesday, July 20, 2004
4:36 PM

ok, i better add a disclaimer for the previous post.
 
[Disclaimer: If you are not open to perspectives other than yours, OR are unable to accept sentiments that are not pro-government, (or may not be unbiased (lol)), OR do not believe in freedom of speech, do me and yourself a gracious favour- DO NOT scroll down but rather click back on your IE toolbar.]
 
or you could sue me, but i reckon that'd be a childish move, no?

4:19 PM

i'm groggy, a bit dizzy, and delirious as well. totally exhausted. this hellish period is taking a toll on me. i can feel this burning sensation at the back of my eyes, like some fire that's gonna spread and eventually burn up my eyes from the inside.
 
apparently monday was the supposed day for racial harmony day celebrations at nj. i must say, it was pathetic beyond description.  isn't it ironic that Singapore has to have a racial harmony day, where racial harmony is to be emphasized, and yet we have such pathetic efforts being displayed by schools? ok, maybe its only in nj. i mean, there wasn't even a decent concert. ok, so they held this "open air" performance in the atrium, but it was plagued by the incessant technical difficulties faced by the PA systems. but thats the norm anyway, it can't be helped. and not to mention we had this lame batik and henna designing competition..that lasted for one measly hour. so effectively, celebrations lasted from 10am to 11am. one hour. AND on top of that, lessons resumed immediately after that.
 
back at sji, i remember watching a concert, and there would be ethnic games, and the highlight would be the food bazaar, which everyone would be eagerly preparing for. comparing the programmes offered by an independent school, and a government school,  i've got no comments. moral of the story is, don't go to a government-run JC after secondary school.  the best thing is to join some integrated programme, or go to Hwa Chong International School, or UWC or something. at least, not nj. enough said.
 
they say the school spirit is reflected by the attitude of the students in the school, but how can a school spirit flourish- or even exist for that matter- if we have such a moronic administration, breathing down on our necks, turning us into an army of mindless drones, stones who blend in better with the soil than the human environment?
 
heinous.

4:17 PM

And you really didn't think it would happen
But it really is the end of the line
So I'm sorry that you've turned to driftwood
But you've been drifting for a long, long time
 
- from the song Driftwood by Travis

Sunday, July 18, 2004
12:55 PM

Fragile, seems I opened up too quick
and all my dreams were woken up
I slowly lost my fight
with every single man a river cried
 
I had no sensation, completely numb I felt no satisfaction
I thought no one could ever get me high again
I swear I was not looking
I've waited so long, I thought the real thing was a fake,
I thought it was a tool to break me down
you prove me wrong again

Chorus:

If love were liquid it would drown me
in a placeless place refine me,
in a heart shape come around me
and then melt me slowly down
if love were human it would know me
in a lost space come and show me,
hold me and control me
and then melt me slowly down, like chocolate
 
Tastes so good my hearts been mended,
who'd have thought it would?
an empty bed and still I won the catch,
a man who I love and who loves me back
I've waited so long for love to heal me,
so I'd feel it, thought it wasn't real and then you came
you prove me wrong again 
  
(repeat chorus)

Come here, zoom in, catch the smile
there's no doubt it's for you and I'm addicted tonight 
Just one look boy to mellow it out
just one heart here to save me now
your candy kisses are sweet I know
hold me tight baby, don't let go

(repeat chorus)

-Chocolate, Kylie Minogue

Friday, July 16, 2004
8:24 PM

just some random haphazard thoughts:
 
i had yet another twisted dream again, last night. well, thats not really the point, sinc ei have weird dreams every night. but yesterday the dream practically went on and on...maybe coz i slept earlier? anyway, i dreamt that lions invaded my neighbourhood. how lame can it get? but the thing is, they weren't normal, live lions.  they were actually animate lions- you know, lions that are used in lion dance. non living things. objects.  that somehow came to life. don't ask me how. so they were terrorising the neighbourhood, the typical lame stuff that villains do. so some hero has to put an end to the anarchy right? well, it was some wonderwoman. of all people, i dreamt that she saved everyone, including rescuing me. HER. SHE. arghh. why? sick i tell you. its just sick.
 
its quite saddening to note that there were more 'casualties' after this CT. by casualties, i mean those who have to drop a subject. while some were actually brainwashed (or should i qualify that? induced maybe) by teachers to think that they were really weak, and couldn't handle the pressures of 4 subs; others actually practically gave up and lost interest in a particular subject, leading to them dropping it. personally, if i were in their shoes, i'd actually have perservered at all costs.. i just wouldn't be able to bear dropping anything.  i couldnt hate any of my 4 subs that much. but then again, we have to respect their decisions, and wish them the best. in a way, you become stronger and more focussed after dropping a subject, i believe. all is not lost. well, at least they're better off than me. i'm unable to grasp the vastness of the big picture. i'm just a shallow individual, preferring to float aimlessly in a self-imposed limbo.
 
come to think of it, i really miss drumming. been weeks. i used to feel alive when i was playing drums. the energy, the adrenaline. sigh...

8:15 PM

Wednesday, July 14, 2004
7:03 PM

..okay okay it was a misunderstanding okay? apparently the guy who wanted to contact me didnt bring his phone so he couldn't sms me. geez. i take back what i've said, but i do hope i'll be informed earlier about this kinda stuff.

it's been awhile since i've played drums. my drumming is getting rusty.

2:53 PM

i'm home early today, not because i'm free, but because i chose not to go for cca (though it isn't compulsory for j2s to go down now). i'm really quite pissed with the new j1 exco. i mean, if they have any problems/difficulties/queries, they should approach me right? why do i have to receive an sms from vincent asking me to message a particular j1 coz that guy is "looking for me"?! i mean, its only common courtesy for HIM to message ME directly. but nvm. i'm nice. i bothered to sms that guy. and what happens? he didn't even reply. that's it, i'm washing my hands off this cca already. its fucked up for me to worry about this kinda things. i really can't be bothered with their problems anymore. they're in the exco now. they should try to handle any problems themselves.

on a lighter note, i finally ran 5k today!!! ~ woohoo~. wanted to on monday, but i was sick. dang. made up for it today. god, it felt so good after i completed the run. muscles aching, drenched in sweat..its a good feeling. am i getting masochistic here? haha, i shall try 6k on friday. wish me luck, lol.

was chatting with yt on the way home, and we were talking about our ambitions and stuff. and i realised, i'm really not sure what i'm interested in you know? some of my friends are so sure about their future plans. "doctor". "science". "business". "econs". as for me, well. there was a time i was interested in social studies, political science and geography. but that was in secondary school. in j1, i suddenly became interested in life sciences and all. now, i'm interested in economics. but the thing is, i can't picture myself in a career related to any of these fields. argh. forget it. i'll just go with the flow. my results will determine my fate.

Tuesday, July 13, 2004
4:37 PM

anyway, this is MY blog, for MY use. i have absolute freedom of speech here. and i don't think i'm obliged to post juicy, interesting entries here just to please others. so if you don't like what i have to say, please just close the damn window ok? geez.

so, the CTs have drawn to an end, and now everyone's gearing towards prelims. most people are disturbed by their results in this recent CT. i know i am, getting a streak of Ds. nothing could be worse, i tell you. on the other hand, there are people who are worse off than me, some are really shaken by this whole harrowing experience of tests. calm down people, just take it a step at a time. lets give these four months our best shot, and we can slack to our heart's content after this hellish A level obstacle is crossed.

man, i can even paint the picture in my head- 4 months of slogging, and then................EXTREME HARDCORE SLACKING.

4:31 PM

things to expect here in future (read: DISTANT future):

1. improved tagboard design.
2. brand new template, designed by me.
3. songs embedded in the background. will that be nice?
4. i know, i know!! use 1024x768 res instead of 800x600. -_-'
5. a guestbook (due to excessive requests from readers).
6. link to a photo album (okay okay i'll try ok?)

Monday, July 12, 2004
11:07 PM

does it really pay to be optimistic? do you really perform better in everything you do just because you're much happier than your pessimistic counterpart? well..maybe, just maybe.

i'll try to be more optimistic from today. this will be day 1. i'm going to be happier. despite the challenges ahead. there's really no point in being miserable anymore.

anyway..heard sw's attached already.. haha, i bet you'e very happy. i'm happy for you too, make the most out of it but remember.. A levels are coming.. must concentrate on sstudies first. haha

later guys.nite.

Sunday, July 11, 2004
9:32 PM

Maya this song's for you
I have your name print tattooed upon my skin
There's so much to say to you
And where do I begin?

Cos all these prayers must be going somewhere
Somewhere I can never trace
But it seems so far look in the stars
And the empty space

Chorus:
There are worlds within worlds, that keep rotating
And so many thoughts that flow through my mind
If this universe is really shrinking
We'll be together in time

I had a vision of this place
It looked like heaven but the colours seemed to change
And no matter what I do yeah
It's slowly fading away

So all of these prayers have to be going somewhere
Somewhere I can never trace
And one could get lost in all of these stars
And drift in space

Chorus(x3)


-Maya, Sugababes

one of my favourite songs by the girls. amazing vocals and great lyrics- what more can you ask for?

9:10 PM

ok.. i was wondering how long i'd last without going online, and well. for now its 2 days. i'm back, and the blog's loaded with sentiments, i think i better answer tags first.

nav: ..don't be paranoid. of course its not you..haha. why would i even bear any grudges against you man?

en: . ya its a four-lettered word, don't worry, its not you.

anyway, alot of you have asked who ---- is, well, i don't really wanna talk about her you know? yes SHE's a girl and NO she's not from nj. alot of evil exchanges occurred between us, but lets just say, i've put it all behind me already. thats the past. lets not talk about her anymore, shall we?

shiyun: my dear pigeon! you're online again..haha. yup, everyone's been asking me to get a gb.. including teo. haha. okok i'll try to get one soon k? :) mm.. i'm flattered that u like my blog so much.. haha. but thanks for your concern.. really appreciate it. ya, sigh. i also hope i'll find out what i want in life. n, u were sick for the past few days right? take care.. i was sick also..on fri.

well.. i'm feeling much better really. thanks ppl for your concern.

Friday, July 09, 2004
8:38 PM

We're like crystal, we break easy
I'm a poor man, if you leave me
I'm applauded, then forgotten
It was summer, now it's autumn

chorus:
I don't know what to say,
you don't care anyway
I'm a man in a rage (just tell me what I've got to do),
with a girl I betrayed
Here comes love,
it's like honey
You can't buy it with money,
you're not alone anymore,
whenever you're here with me),
You shock me to the core,
you shock me to the core

We're like crystal,
it's not easy
With your love,
you could feed me
Every man, and every woman
Needs someone, So keep it coming
Keep it coming (x7)

(repeat chorus)

Keep it coming

(repeat chorus)


-Crystal, New Order

8:25 PM

some days you know you're right. some days everything just screw up and you don't even know what you're thinking. well, my life nowadays seems to be composed of the latter. i think i'm beginning to get bipolar disorder.

Bipolar disorder is characterized by an alternating pattern of emotional highs (mania) and lows (depression). The intensity of the signs and symptoms varies. Bipolar disorder can range from a mild condition to a severe condition.

For many people, signs and symptoms in the manic phase may include:

Feelings of euphoria, extreme optimism and inflated self-esteem
Rapid speech, racing thoughts, agitation and increased physical activity
Poor judgment
Recklessness or taking chances not normally taken
Difficulty sleeping
Tendency to be easily distracted
Inability to concentrate
Extreme irritability

In the depression phase, signs and symptoms include:

Persistent feelings of sadness, anxiety, guilt or hopelessness
Disturbances in sleep and appetite
Fatigue and loss of interest in daily activities
Difficulty in concentrating
Recurring thoughts of suicide


-sourced from www.mayoclinic.com

its scary isn't it? especially when you know you used to be calm, stable and focussed. and now you can't even get a hold of yourself. what am i to do? i don't know. time will tell.

---- messaged me online yesterday. ---- said "hi". i replied, "hello". ---- then said, "hi". it was clear that ---- was trying to be funny. i can't stand hypocrites. after the exchange of smses that day, sadly, i found out the truth about ----. or should i say, ----'s true colours? i felt like a complete moron for actually having faith in ----. enough said. just fuck off. i don't need to hear anything from you again. and STOP messaging me online.

.bye

Thursday, July 08, 2004
4:32 PM

Q: When do you feel hot, cold and nauseous all at the same time?
A: Why, when you're having a fever, and there's a thunderstorm outside, of course.


enough said. dang. what about my 5clicks tmr?

Wednesday, July 07, 2004
6:05 PM

i finally jogged this morning after a month of not moving my bones at all. my muscles had practically degenerated i tell you. but i never expected a run to be so invigorating. i mean, me? liking running? it just doesn't go does it? haha really la. i felt damn alert the entire day. i wanted to run 5clicks today, but xinyi was too tired so we settled for 2.5km. but it was fun. i shall jog again on fri.

so today was the student government investiture. not like i'm interested or anything. it was just a passing comment. that said, i really hope no bimbos or fucktards got into office. you know, its these people that actually ruin your day you know? and not to mention, they tarnish the reputation of the council (however undistinguished it may be). oops. i'm sorry for that antagonistic comment. but i'm glad that decent people do exist you know, in these leadership bodies. and i've had the pleasure of knowing quite a few of them as friends. i admire them actually. despite the elevated status, they stay true to heart. kudos to you, you have my respect. well, i suppose i'd have to wish this new student body the best, but hey, i'm glad i won't be around to experience it, lol.

ah.. the cynicism. bah! you don't have to read this shit if you don't want to.

6:03 PM

actually i wanted to post a long entry today but i'm just too exhausted to convey my thoughts coherently. and besides, this is a public blog.. how can i reveal such personal matters? haha. ironic isn't it.

Tuesday, July 06, 2004
5:22 PM

and people, don't be too depressed over the CTs. i mean, sooner or later we have to face the music right? i'd rather we just face reality now. huijun, you looked extremely depressed after getting back maths. cheer up okay, don't get too stressed up.

we'll all pull through this, somehow. ^^

4:05 PM

i'm lost for words.. no, of course not in the positive sense. i'm in a totally screwed up shitty mess. totally fucked up, life couldn't get any worse really.

i hope i can find some inner peace, or rather, peace of mind soon. i just need to get a hold of myself, to get a grip in life again. my mind's a total mess. havoc. its infested with anarchy. i need some order, you know? not to mention, passion. that has to be rekindled. that which died together with me two years back.

i can't believe i've been delusional for 1.5 fucking years. gosh. well, its time to put an end to this shit. i'll change for the better, trust me.

should i go for the prom? the girls invited me to. but i just feel that i won't enjoy it you know? i mean sadly to say, i don't even feel anything for the school. its just like a prison, a torture chamber. i agree with teo, its indeed a prisoner HQ. but i'll go for the sake of my friends. assuming that i make it you know? survive? till december. attending the prom would be like a testament to my willpower for these 2 terms. yes, its ok. i will not succumb to any more vices.

Monday, July 05, 2004
11:29 PM

OH SHIT. tmr there's maths lecture/tut but i realised my notes are all blank coz i ponned the lecture (which was like a month ago btw). arghh i should have gone to jas's house earlier to copy. why can't it be hols forever? what a nightmare. i don't want to step back into reality.

Sunday, July 04, 2004
9:09 PM

...i feel lost, directionless/aimless. you know, i'm just living? i feel like i'm in some limbo. time is a waste of life, really. i dunno.. things have changed over the past few years. i mean, a few years back, i had clearly pictured the path i wanted to take, and i actually worked towards it. now everything's so hazy- i don't know who i am or what i like anymore. i'm treading unknown waters. i need help.

will i get anywhere?

Friday, July 02, 2004
7:53 PM

it doesn't mean much
it doesn't mean anything at all
the life I've left behind me
is a cold room
I've crossed the last line
from where I can't return
where every step I took in faith
betrayed me
and led me from my home

and sweet
sweet surrender
is all that I have to give

you take me in
no questions asked
you strip away the ugliness
that surrounds me
are you an angel
am I already that gone
I only hope
that I won't disappoint you
when I'm down here
on my knees

and sweet
sweet
sweet surrender
is all that I have to give

sweet
sweet
sweet surrender
is all that I have to give

and I don't understand
by the touch of your hand
I would be the one to fall

I miss the little things
oh I miss everything

it doesn't mean much
it doesn't mean anything at all
the life I left behind me
is a cold room


-Sweet Surrender, Sarah McLachlan

god this song is pure bliss. the energy, the passion, i can feel it just listening to her voice. sarah, you're a goddess.

Thursday, July 01, 2004
5:43 PM

Day 3 of CTs it was chem. the hall was like some mini antarctica. it kept getting colder every minute, not to mention there were fans on, blowing the cold wind at you, like some arctic gale. i was practically frozen stiff, and my bladder (supposedly strong) really couldn't take it. halfway through the paper i HAD to go to the toilet. it was so uncontrollable i was having trouble concentrating.. geez. well, i suppose the paper was easy for those who had studied, but i found it difficult, coz i'm stupid and my brain can't store so much information. the MCQ was perverse, enough said. how the fuck am i supposed to pass with this kind of mcqs?

post CT fun i tell you, after the chem paper people were practically rushing to the restrooms.. some were literally jumping down the stairs, lol. geez. they gotta do something about the aircon system. anyway, the post-CT stuff was the usual stuff. went out with the girls. they wanted to eat good food, and we ended up eating at pastamania. and i've come to realise that i don't really like cream sauce spaghetti. it gets sickening after awhile. so we roamed the entire Cine, hl got some famous amos cookies for her bf..omg so sinful. we went to Heeren too, rotting there. actually i wanted to eat some crepes but the rest didnt want to. ran into quite a few people. met gregory the lamer, he's become quite different since he went to vj. hair all spiked up, lol. and we met shi ming too, such a pleasant surprise. seeing her after so long got me thinking about the first 3 months and all those carefree times. yawn. nostalgic. met cw on my way home, and i realised, the track team is having some kind of camp through this 4 day break? wow.

reflection zzzzz.. another CT has ended with me feeling upset and dreary.. what did i do wrong this time? well i studied really, 2 or 3 weeks before even, but i think i studied for the sake of studying. i really had no motivation, nothing got into my head. and i played alot of gb. i think my parents will freak out when they see my results, considering that they've seen me studying. i think i'm a gone case, i'm doing so badly even when i've studied relatively more than the previous test. i really wonder what's wrong with me. sigh, well that marks the end of term 2, and the beginning of term 3. term 3 is supposedly the most dreadful term, i'm already starting to fear it. revision packed into an already saturated schedule, the rush to finish the syllabus, constant pressure from tutors, doing of ten year series, mugging, mugging , mugging.. i think i got to set my priorities right. you know. get into the right perspective. the right frame of mind. i mean i did it before , for the O levels, i'm trying to figure out how i morphed from a slacker into some hardworking machine during the last few months back then. i really need that ability now, coz i'm a slacker now, and i'm STILL a slacker. maybe i'll make a resolution for this term, and i'll stick to it. i really gotta start mugging hard, doing my work diligently. i don't want to screw up As. and, well gotta do some handover stuff for liondance, i think chong is quite pissed with me. i mean, do i really have to teach the new QM how to be a QM? isn't it so damn obvious? and the thing is, he doesn't even bother to ask me anything he has doubts about. and, you know i gotta say this.. although i should censor it .. for the sake of those who read this blog, but i really don't care. the juniors are PATHETIC. there..i've said it. I MEAN IT. i mean, they can't even organise a bloody seniors' farewell for us? what the hell happened to the tradition? last june i remember having such an enjoyable chalet with the seniors. NOW? NOTHING. ZILCH. sigh, i think we've been lousy seniors, so lousy that they can't even be bothered to do anything for us. i reall don't know what to say.. but i'm washing my hands off this cca. its been a good 1.5 years, not all good, but not that bad either. its up to them to carry on the cca. but i have this feeling it will close down. coz they simply lack initiative, and they have cliques, much worse than we used to have. so, anyway.. thats all i have to say, i gotta clear up all this matters, i gotta clear my head too. i need to be calm, to figure things out. for now, at least for the next few days, i just gotta destress all the shit outta me. hope you guys do take some time off, its been a hard term.

happy youth day.
p.s damn that chem assignment.

5:21 PM

time for some quizzes..

ski
You're Skittles!!! You have a very interesting
personality, you're so unique. You're the kind
of person who always thinks outside of the box.
You're also a very accepting individual, and
believe in inner beauty.
Which kind of candy are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

HASH(0x8b29acc)
Your soul is OPEN-MINDED. Although you do have
strong opinions and make decisions, you never
make them without thinking first of not only
everything that is, but those that may not be
as well. People trust that you'll willingly
hear them out and understand when they tell you
something, and you are well-liked for it. You
are often the mediator in disputes and your
desire to do what is right overcomes all else.
You are an understanding and admirable soul.
What Is Your Soul's Trait?
brought to you by Quizilla

Blue
At work or in school: I like to be with people, sharing with them, inspiring them, and helping them. I work and learn best when I can take into consideration people and the human element. I flourish in an atmosphere of cooperation.
With friends: I always look for perfect love. I am very romantic, and I enjoy doing thoughtful things for others. I am affectionate, supportive and a good listener.
With family: I like to be happy and loving. I am very sensitive to rejection from my family and to family conflicts. I really like to be well thought of and need frequent reassurance. I love intimate talks and warm feelings.
What Color is Your Brain?
brought to you by Quizilla

Whats does your personality rate from 1-10? by morning_prayer
Your first full name
Your personality rates asix
your best quality isyou can make anyone smile
your worst quality isyou want what you cant have
this is becauseOf the people you hang around
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!


this last quiz really struck me.. i mean how true can it get? its creepy.