I realise I've been kinda foolish and naive.

Moral of the story is, take everything with a pinch of salt. Believe me.

Like my friend Low says, "Don't get involved, don't take sides, stay neutral, do your work sui sui, go back home. After all, are you really part of this team? You're an NSman."

Yesterday, I patrolled with Mr. Jango (lol) again (effectively my favourite crew commander). Every time I learn something new about my life when he tells me stuff. I trust and respect him. He's not like the other cheebye mats in my team (you know, the ones who fucking equate girls with sex, and have the fuck-and-throw mentality). In fact, he's the role model for every stray around- married with two kids, doesn't smoke or drink, never had pre-marital sex.

Speaking of which, I don't understand the hoohah about pre-marital sex anyways.

As far as I'm concerned, I'd give myself exclusively to my soulmate. By soulmate, I mean someone I'm intimate enough with (not physically of course, I mean on the emotional and intellectual level) to spend the rest of my life with that person. Doesn't really matter whether its before or after marriage. As long as I know the direction I'm headed in.

Bottomline is, I'd never lose my virginity to someone who sells her body (i.e. a whore, they deserve to be called that), or to some pathetic cheap fling/scandal/affair.

The thing is, my philosophy yields me rude stares and comments, classifying me as an "abnormal" person, possibly "one who lacks human desires"?

To that, I quote my crew commander: "At the end of the day, its up to the individual, whether you want to be classified as 'normal' or 'abnormal'. Its either you don't know how to think for yourself, and you follow the crowd, or you make your own decisions, challenge the norm. Which will it be?"

I choose the latter, and can only hope you do too.