<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d7074329\x26blogName\x3dThe+Confessions+of+an+Escapist\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLUE\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttps://celticdream.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://celticdream.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d-777412042830513170', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script> The Confessions of an Escapist v3
Sunday, June 26, 2005
2:18 PM

while you are away
my heart comes undone
slowly unravels
in a ball of yarn

the devil collects it
with a grin
our love
in a ball of yarn

he'll never return it

so when you come back
we'll have to make new love


-Unravel, Bjork

i want you, but i don't want you to want me. that's why i haven't spoken to you in ages. what should we do?

Saturday, June 25, 2005
1:37 AM

i feel obnoxious.

Saturday, June 18, 2005
9:44 AM

i took a handwriting analysis test (sourced from liz's blog). these are the results:

******* The Analysis Starts Here *******

Ranjay has a healthy imagination and displays a fair amount of trust. He lets new people into his circle of friends. He uses his imagination to understand new ideas, things, and people.

Ranjay is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. He needs to visualize the end of a project before he starts. He finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said he plans everything he is going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned. Ranjay basically feels good about himself. He has a positive self-esteem which contributes to his success. He feels he has the ability to achieve anything he sets his mind to. However, he sets his goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach". He has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, he will not take great risks, as they relate to his goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence category, his self-perception is better than average.

In reference to Ranjay's mental abilities, he has a very investigative and creative mind. He investigates projects rapidly because he is curious about many things. He gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but he soon must slow down and look at all the angles. He probably gets too many things going at once. When Ranjay slows down, then he becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, he must slow down to do it. He then decides what projects he has time to finish. Thus he finishes at a slower pace than when he started the project. He has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. His mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. He can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Ranjay can then switch into his low gear. When he is in the slower mode, he can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. He is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.

Ranjay is secretive. He has secrets which he does not wish to share with others. He intentionally conceals things about himself. He has a private side that he intends to keep that way, especially concerning certain events in his past.

Ranjay is moderately outgoing. His emotions are stirred by sympathy and heart rendering stories. In fact, he can be kind, friendly, affectionate and considerate of others. He has the ability to put himself into the other person's shoes. Ranjay will be somewhat moody, with highs and lows. Sometimes he will be happy, the next day he might be sad. He has the unique ability to get along equally well with what psychology calls introverts and extroverts. This is because he is in between. Psychology calls Ranjay an ambivert. He understands the needs of both types. Although they get along, he will not tolerate anyone that is too "far out." He doesn't sway too far one way or the other. When convincing him to buy a product or an idea, a heart rendering story could mean a great deal to him. He puts himself in the same situation as the person in the story, yet he will not buy anything that seems overly impractical or illogical. Ranjay is an expressive person. He outwardly shows his emotions. He may even show traces of tears when hearing a sad story. Ranjay is a "middle-of-the-roader," politically as well as logically. He weighs both sides of an issue, sits on the fence, and then will decide when he finally has to. He basically doesn't relate to any far out ideas and usually won't go to the extreme on any issue.


lol.
the results are uncannily accurate. i bolded the parts that are especially true.

Sunday, June 12, 2005
7:49 PM

sian. training attachment is over. i'm sure gonna miss the guys and girls of Team Charlie, Gul Regional Base. for now, its back to mundane training again..for 1 more month zzzz. so, right now, i'm still thinking whether i should apply for office hours when i pass out. if i don't, i'll most definitely become a patrol officer. true, i get $150 extra allowance and all, and i get to learn alot, but i find it really tiring..to work 12 hour shifts (from what i can see from the past 2 weeks at sea). then again, if i choose to go to Gul Base, i'll get to work with those regulars. somehow i really enjoyed their company la. gained lots of insights, new perspectives and advice from them.

anyway, i finally went back to NJ on friday to collect my cert, and stumbled into han and teo. haha. what a pleasant surprise. sorta reminded me of the past..when we used to sneak off from ld outings, and have our own secret outings LOL. NJ seems to be in a mess right now, with renovation works and all. the buildings have been freshly painted..but the new colour scheme is pretty irksome. dirty green, and bright red?

so over lunch, han was telling me how a significant proportion of NJ people feared going to NUS, and would rather go to NTU (assuming they got accepted into the same course in both universities). probably because the NTU environment is somehow 'safer', as how teo put it. its pretty much akin to the NJ environment really. the NUS environment on the other hand is much different, mainly due to the diverse background of the campus population. come to think of it, i realise school culture was not part of my criteria when i was choosing a university. somehow i knew it had to be NUS, the other two were not practical (NTU is way too far, SMU doesn't offer the courses i want). i guess i've changed. just two years ago, school culture was like one of the main criteria i had in mind when i was choosing a junior college. hmm.

on a sidenote, tomorrow is my dear pigeon's birthday.haha.if you're reading this, hsppy birthday! =)

Wednesday, June 08, 2005
3:34 PM

Joel, I'm not a concept. I want you to just keep that in your head. Too many guys think I'm a concept or I complete them or I'm going to make them alive, but I'm just a fucked-up girl who is looking for my own peace of mind. Don't assign me yours.

-Clementine, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

i finally got to watch Eternal Sunshine today. it was such a breath of fresh air. such a great concept, great lines, great chemistry between the actors- jim carrey, kate winslet, kirsten dunst, even elijah wood. i HAVE to watch it again.

Saturday, June 04, 2005
3:57 PM

omg.

The Letter, which i had given up waiting for, arrived today! which means i'm accepted into the University Scholars Programme at NUS!

finally, i can rest in peace.

woohooo!

8:29 AM

saw this on en's blog..decided to do it since i've got nothing better to do anyways.

FOUR NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Jay.
2. Ranjay.
3. Jay-Z.
4. Penguin/Teddy Bear/Guinea Pig. (various animal names acquired over the years, grouped into one category.lol)

FOUR SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. Da^CaT. (lol.my hideous past in irc)
2. PsYwAvE.
3. xwave.
4. asongforXX. (MS nick. sigh, my beloved assassin..)

FOUR PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Asian.
2. Singaporean.
3. Indian.
4. Hindu. (in my birth cert. i'm an agnostic really.)

FOUR THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. HEIGHTS.
2. Spiders.
3. Water.
4. Death.

FOUR OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Computer.
2. Mp3 Player.
3. Food.
4. Sleep.

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Tee.
2. Berms.
3. Chain.
4. Ring.

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
1. Ayumi Hamasaki.
2. Bjork.
3. Nightwish.
4. Madonna.

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:
1. M.
2. Distance.
3. Cocoon.
4. Dolls.

FOUR THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Commitment.
2. Meaningful conversation.
3. Intimacy.
4. Sincerity.

THREE TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
1. I talk in my sleep.
2. I was chased by a peacock in the zoo when i was six.
3. I enjoy being in crowded places.
4. I lived in Geylang when I was very young.

FOUR PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Hair
2. Eyes
3. Nose (yes, i have a fetish for sharp noses)
4. wtf? Smile? . i'm not a very physical person =/

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Online games.
2. Watching movies.
3. Music.
4. Dreaming.

FOUR THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Buy all the CDs i want.
2. Go to a Nightwish or Ayumi concert.
3. Go back to that dream (woke up at the climax -.-)
4. Sms her. Should i?????

FOUR CAREERS YOU'VE CONSIDERED:
1. Doctor
2. Teacher
3. Psychologist
4. Researcher <--looks like this is where i'm headed now..

FOUR PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Venice
2. Japan
3. Maldives
4. Africa

FOUR KID'S NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. Natalie
2. Namie
3. Sylvester
4. Faramir

FOUR THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Visit obscure places.
2. Write a book.
3. Design and build my own house.
4. Snuggle up with that special someone at the beach, and stargaze =)

FOUR WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A MAN:
1. Insensitive.
2. Unrefined. (lol?)
3. Violent. (but i suppress my rage if anyone is around)
4. Techie. (lol!)

lol, interesting questionnaire.