The Confessions of an Escapist v3

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

~~2:15 PM~~

hmm..i've been really busy with training and all. now, the highlight of my 3 month training stint with Coast Guard is finally here..the training attachment. where i get to patrol Singapore waters for 2 weeks, and get as much hands-on experience as i can. however, it does not help that i'm being posted to Gul Base (somewhere in the far reaches of the West, beyond Boon Lay -_-'). moreover, i've been attached to Team Charlie, which apparently has the most formidable crew commander among all the teams at Gul. which effectively means i'm going to have quite a stressful time living up to this commander's high expectations. luckily i have 3 of my squadmates accompanying me at Charlie..lol.

on a lighter note, Charlie patrols the south-western waters of Singapore, so i'll get to see Sentosa, Jurong island, Southern Islands..and several more. which i've never seen in my life. so yeah. wish me luck, i'll be back in 2 weeks time. ciaos!

Friday, May 27, 2005

~~7:42 PM~~

Your Seduction Style: The Dandy

You're a non-traditionalist, not limited by gender roles or expectations.
Your sexuality is more fluid than that - and you defy labels or categories.
It's hard to pin you down, and that's what's fascinating about you.
You have the psychology of both a male and a female, and you can relate to anyone.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

Sunday, May 22, 2005

~~8:53 PM~~

caught Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith yesterday, centre row seats at lido 1, on a SATURDAY, the first weekend since its premiere. wooohooo. i feel much at peace after watching the movie, but there seem to be a few inconsistencies in the movie. especially the thing about the "revival of Qui-Gon" (?), i thought only those who practised the Dark Side of the Force knew the key to eternal life. hmmm. and, i must say, Hayden Christensen was such a horrible actor in this movie (probably his worst). i've seen far better movies where he played much better leading roles, say Life as a House for example. bah. Natalie Portman wasn't any better, if not worse. not only were many of her lines corny (think: "Annie! you're breaking my heart!!"), her acting was really really off (think: one of the final few scenes, where Obi-Wan hid in the ship she took to Mustafar, and when he came out of the ship she had totally no reaction at all.. geez. i mean at least have a shocked/surprised look or smth la). in short, the dialogue wasn't good. alas, one cannot deny the spectacular nature of the film. just think of the scene where Anakin receives his bionic implants with the sleek black mask and his transformation into Darth Vader is completed..pure ownage.

i think i'm becoming a movie freak nowadays... every weekend i have to catch at least one movie or i'll feel really uncomfortable. this is becoming a costly affair..lol. especially since movie ticket prices have inflated -_-;;

Saturday, May 21, 2005

~~12:42 PM~~

Romaji

tachikomeru kumo sukima nuu you ni
hoshitachi ga semegiau
sakebi ni mo nita
inori no you na kagayaki ga
mune wo shimetsukeru

asa yo douka watashi wo hayaku mukae ni kite
yowasa wo kakushikirenaku naru mae ni

(*) anata ga inai dake de konna ni
yoru ga samishii nante fushigi ne

ato dono kurai onaji you na
tsumi wo okashite kurikaeshitara

watashi wa hito de nakunatte shimau no darou
dare no me ni mo utsuranaku naru no darou

korogaru you ni nigekonda basho ni
hoshii mono no nante nai
kokoro kara kanjou dake wo hagitotte
kamen ni egao haritsukeru
douka konna toko kara watashi wo tsuresatte
subete ga omoide ni naru mae ni

(**) anata to deai hito wo ai suru
imi wo sukoshi shitta ki ga shita
itsuka tsugunaikireta toshitara
yurusareru hi ga yatte kita nara

dakedo imasara shiawase no teigi nante
kataru shikaku nado doko ni mo nokotte'nai

(*) repeat
(**) repeat

sou ne watashi ni wa koufuku na ketsumatsu nado
niawanai koto mo dare yori wakatte iru

English Translation

There are lots of stars
As if to fill the gap between thick clouds
They are shining, like a prayer
Almost like a shout
And my chest is constricted

I hope the morning will come for me soon
Before I can't hide away my weakness

(*) It's strange I feel so lonely at night
Only because you are not here

After so many times of
Committing a sin like this

Will I be inhuman?
Will I be invisible to everyone?

I find nothing I want in a place like this
Which I escaped and tumbled into
I rip my feelings off my heart
And stick a smile on the mask
Please take me away from here
Before everything becomes a memory

(**) I felt I knew the meaning of love a little
After I had met you
If I can finish my penance some day
If I'm forgiven some day ...

But I have no right after all that
To tell the definition of happiness

(*) repeat
(**) repeat

Well, I know better than anyone else
That a happy ending never suits me

-Happy Ending, Ayumi Hamasaki

haven't heard such a depressing song in ages. i suppose its because i haven't really been depressed for quite a long time. since the start of 2005, i've usually felt apaethetic (i.e. sian) most of the time, maybe even somewhat happy (rarely), but i haven't sunk into the doldrums like i used to in the past. this song just brings back memories of my old self/past...haha...

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

~~10:15 PM~~

Quoteworthy:

"Don't die for your country. Let the other party die for his country!"

-OC Pang

lol. police officers (especially my instructors) never fail to amaze me with their shrewd anecdotes.

which reminds me, i have my gunnery exam tomorrow. and radar theory exam next week. and radar practical evaluation this friday. arghhhhhhh.

pfft.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

~~8:24 PM~~

watched kingdom of heaven yesterday. personally, i feel that it didn't live up to its rating of 5 stars.. i'd give it only 4. or maybe 3.5. true, it is indeed a great directing feat for ridley scott (who'd have expected him to make this film?), but lacks the flair of an epic. nevertheless, it was definitely historically accurate (for the most part). except that they didn't show the battle between the templars and Saladin's army. they only showed the spoils of war. well, come to think of it..it wasn't really a battle. it was pure ownage. i mean, barely 50 templars flanked against a 200,000-strong army? oh, and they didn't show the capture, rape and murder of Saladin's sister. apart from these discrepancies, i guess it was pretty good. the very fact that they managed to recreate ancient Jerusalem impressed me. and the battle scenes were very realistic too. perhaps the only flaw of the film is its length..they should have made it longer. and explored the crusades in greater detail. it isn't a very noob-friendly movie, if you know what i mean.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

~~9:51 PM~~

much to my horror, i discovered that the friendly neighbourhood barber was CLOSED. for good, i mean. the whole place was all boarded up and sealed shut, it was almost as if they had been evicted from the place. well, you know me, i don't get a haircut that often (cause i simply HATE getting my hair cut, even though i detest long and thick hair even more) and after having reluctantly dragged myself all the way to bukit panjang plaza after a gruelling day of training (with surprise PT -_-), there was NO WAY i was gonna go back home without getting my hair cut. so i roamed around bpp, looking for a hairdresser/barber or something of that sort, and i stumbled into 'EC House'. lol. i was pretty apprehensive at first. i hate new and unfamiliar surroundings (how i miss the cosy seats in the neighbourhood barber shop), and this one was definitely very alien. everything was so high-tech. first, you have to insert a $10 note into this machine, to redeem a ticket. and then, you have to proceed to the waiting area, and sit on the seat specified by your ticket, and wait for your turn. after awhile, i was ushered to the hairdressing area by this lady (middle-aged, late 30s?). at that point of time i was even more nervous, cause i've never had my hair cut by a female hairdresser. it was always by those uncles in the nieghbourhood barbers,LOL. but, her resourcefulness impressed me. she studied my hair for a few seconds, and then spouted out a few sentences about my hair "hard...natural curls..thick" (what's new? i know my hair sucks) and then came her diagnosis: "and so i'll cut high slope for you, ok?" who would have known? 90% of barbers who assess my hair always attempt to cut a "slope" style for me, and not "high slope" style, which is what i want. turns out, it was the most worthwhile haircut i had in months. $10 well spent. great customer service, friendly hairdressers, state-of-the-art equipment (electronic razors specially for shaving sideburns; vacuum pump to suck away all stray hairs after the haircut, leaving you looking clean and fresh).

in other news, jia yi lent me his voyage CDs today. ah, the bliss! it feels so good to listen to new age music, after so long. i have yet to coax him to lend me his sarah brightman CD collection, or at least her latest, harem. and, i have yet to buy my bjork CDs. this weekend i shall get someone to accompany me to gramophone at Specialists' Shopping Centre.

bah, seamanship exam on friday.. the most crucial examination in the maritime policing course. basically it assesses whether you're skilled in the way of the seafarer..zzzzz. wish me luck!

Saturday, May 07, 2005

~~10:29 PM~~

hmmm.. received a letter from the university scholars programme (USP) today. apparently, i'm inivited to apply for the joint degree program between NUS and ANU (australian national university), bachelor of philosophy- bachelor of science (honours). the good thing is, 3 semesters out of the 8 will be spent in ANU. unfortunately, this programme only offers chemistry, mathematics and physics honours. .which means that i can't possibly apply for it. i mean, i still choose passion (or interest, rather) over the prestige. turning away this opportunity is a big sacrifice to pay for pursuing my dream degree..sigh. sometimes i wonder why i've chosen to pursue life science. is it "because its the flavour of the month", as the guy at the USP interview put it? why not accountancy? or medicine? or law? or business? everyone seems to be taking the tried and tested route. i feel pretty insecure actually, i mean, career prospects-wise. i was flipping through today's newspaper's Recruit section, and i noticed there was only one miserable job vacancy requiring specialty in life sciences, it being the post of medical/lab technician. . so the reality is, i'll most likely be unemployed when i graduate with a basic degree. albeit somewhat insecure, i'm not the least bit worried anyhow. i've never thought about life after tertiary education anyways. work sucks.

anyhow, this letter is the first letter i've received from the USP after my interview in april. does it indirectly imply that i've been accepted into the USP? geez..can't they just send us a letter stating whether we're accepted or rejected? ah, the suspense. i'm beginning to enjoy it already. -_-

Thursday, May 05, 2005

~~9:33 PM~~

was rummaging through some of my old photos, and reminiscing about college and secondary school days. especially the days of sec 1 and 2.. the most fun and carefree if you ask me. lol, the times when me and keith kept irritating bala. and the times of sjab..with keith hanif sam clarence andy and all the rest.

on a heavier note, its only the 5th week of my PCGO course. which means that there's still 7 weeks more, or slightly less than 2 months. i'm getting really bored.. i mean, the way of the seafarer is not particularly my cup of tea. on top of that, there's the added burden of having to abosrb facts as they are being taught to us. its a pretty new lifestyle for me. i mean, for someone who has such a limited timespan of attention, and stones during 90% of lectures as a result.

and the girl who has been sleeping on my shoulder in the bus every other day has mysteriously vanished. the horror! the agony! now my motivation to endure the long ride on 963 is gone. zzzz and we were getting along so well (LOL).

maybe i should consider taking the mrt to camp from now on. hmmmm?

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

~~11:59 PM~~

quiz sourced from huijun's blog:

W... Tungsten
You scored 54 Mass, 20 Electronegativity, 58 Metal, and 10 Radioactivity!

You may buy into the values of society, but you just can't seem to fit into it. You've always been a bit too prone to over-reacting. On the bright side you can withstand extremely high energy people and environments just as easily as you can low energy ones. You might do comparatively well hanging out with Phosphorous people as a result. In fact, you are probably the best suited person to try to shape their efforts into something constructive... unfortunately, that would require your actively involving yourself with someone, which you are generally loathe to do. The ideal job for you would be working within a nuclear power plant... alone.

The Which Chemical Element Am I Test written by effataigus on Ok Cupid

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

~~9:06 PM~~

i broke off contact with a certain someone yesterday. not that ____ was someone i was very close with, but still. looking at the smses, i'm tempted to reply. but of course, replying would lead to the inevitable.. which i'm not prepared to face. zzzzzz how i wish i could just be a hermit, and live in my room, and have no contact with anyone whatsoever.

am i making any sense?

Sunday, May 01, 2005

~~11:15 AM~~

One breath away
from Mother Oceania
your nimble feet make prints
in my sand

You have done
good for yourselves
since you left my wet embrace
and crawled ashore

Every boy is a snake is a lily
every pearl is a lynx is a girl

Sweet like harmony
made into flesh
you dance by my side
children sublime

You show me continents
- I see the islands
you count the centuries
- I blink my eyes

Hawks and sparrows
race in my waters
stingrays are floating
across the sky

Little ones
- my sons and my daughters
your sweat is salty - I am why
I am why
I am why
your sweat is salty - I am why
I am why
I am why

-Oceania, Bjork

finally met my match. in terms of musical taste i mean. and it was none other than my squadmate, jy lol. he's probably the only other person i know who appreciates Bjork like i do.