<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d7074329\x26blogName\x3dThe+Confessions+of+an+Escapist\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLUE\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttps://celticdream.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://celticdream.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d-777412042830513170', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script> The Confessions of an Escapist v3
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
10:23 PM

after two gruelling days of basic firefighting course at the civil defence academy, my perceptions of CD has changed. as far as NS is concerned, CD isn't a dumping ground for rejects, and definitely isn't slack. in fact, i pretty much respect CD NSFs for having the discipline and endurance to complete their basic training. the bmt at CD (ie firefighting training) is 6 solid months man. and to think just two days there has completely shagged me out. but the things we did were defintely fun. like the ship simulator, which is this building filled with obstacles, simulating a ship's interior. we had to cross all the obstacles blindfolded, and breathe using the breathing apparatus (12.6kg oxygen tank on our backs). it was damn freaky (coz you can't tell when the air will run out, since you're blindfolded and can't see the pressure gauge), but thoroughly enthralling anyway. oh..and not to forget the smoke filled corridors (and i really mean smoke filled), 100kg dummy casualty (-_-) and putting out the flash fires in the furnace. god, we should never underestimate the power of fire man. i literally felt like i was being fried from the inside when i went into the room with the flash fire (fire which spreads onto the ceiling and walls). definitely, an eye-opener. who could have guessed i was capable of passing such a tough course? lol.

Sunday, April 24, 2005
5:39 PM

just stumbled upon this article of a PSC (was it PSC) scholar who allegedly posted racist entries on his blog, and then the whole thing was blown out of proportion, and next thing you know it was all over the news, with him being disgraced and put to shame.

as far as i was concerned, i was pretty alarmed by this article. i mean, when someone hosts a blog, he/she has the full right to post whatever he/she wants to. its ridiculous not to have freedom of speech and to practise censorship on a blog..really. true, it is always argued that since a blog is public, the onus is on the writer to be subtle and sensitive in his posts. BUT, technology has way advanced, and there is the option of having a private blog. in this case, the author locks his blog with a password, and only those who are given the password are allowed to read the content in the blog. so i'm guessing, whoever who spread that scholar's blog posts around must be either 1)a hacker or 2)a friend in disguise, out to defame him. seriously, who cares about what someone writes about in his private blog? does it mean that its unbecoming of a scholar to post supposedly-racist blog entries, and just because of that, get his scholarship revoked? i think thats just bull.

i really think that 'thesaint' and all those who complained about his private entries are just fucktards man. i mean, the content wasn't even meant for their eyes, so they have no right to be offended by it anyway. i feel sorry for the guy really, his reputation seems to have been ruined by this ridiculous incident. in fact, judging from his impressive portfolios, it would be a waste if his scholarship were to be revoked.

on a sidenote, the article has left me pondering how safe it actually is to post entries on a blog, especially a public one. i mean, who knows how many people are out there just waiting to twist your entries out of context. and destroy your life in the process.

my advice is, think twice before posting controversial blog entries..even if yours is password protected. of course, you could always turn to the tried and tested real diary, and rant to your heart's content, and not piss anyone off accidentally. lol.

Friday, April 22, 2005
9:27 PM

Romaji

mikakete mitsukete misadamete iru
mitsumete midarete mitasarete iru demo

miagete mikakete mikurabete iru hora
mikubiru mitoreru mihanasarete'ru

sou bokura wa arayuru subete no basho de tsunagatte iru kara
kono kotoba ni tsuite kangaeru kimi to datte mou sude ni

aa bokura ga itsu ka eien no nemuri ni tsuku koro made ni
totteoki no kotoba o hatashite ikutsu kawaseru no darou?

mikakete mitsukete misadamete iru
mitsumete mitorete mitasarete iru demo

miagete mikakete mikurabete iru hora
mikubiru mitoreru mihanasarete'ru

sou bokura wa arayuru subete no basho de tsunagatte iru kara
kono kotoba ni tsuite kangaeru kimi to datte mou sude ni


English Translation

I see, I find, I make sure.
I stare, I'm fascinated, I'm satisfied, but

I look up, I see, I compare.
I despise, I stray, I'm abandoned.

We're connected at each and every place so
when I think this word, you'll already know.

Oh, by the time we sleep the deep sleep,
how many precious words will we have exchanged?

I see, I find, I make sure.
I stare, I'm fascinated, I'm satisfied, but

I look up, I see, I compare.
I despise, I stray, I'm abandoned.

We're connected at each and every place so
when I think this word, you'll already know.


-Connected, Ayumi Hamasaki


haha..i can totally relate to the lyrics man.

Thursday, April 21, 2005
10:22 PM

the divide between ITE graduates and JC graduates is becoming increasingly apparent, or so it seems as my NS days pass me by. back in the days of basic training, my bunk kept to itself, rarely socializing with the other 2 bunks. reason being, first of all, my bunk was english-speaking; the others chinese-speaking. logically, there would be little room for fruitful discussions between two parties as such. interestingly, the other 2 bunks were filled with ITE graduates, as compared to my bunk (3 JC grads, 1 priv. dip. grad). in fact, the other 2 bunks were utterly childish, as they would play lame pranks on each other as well as us every so often, and engage in childish discussions packed with lame jokes. as a result, my bunk kinda ostracized itself from the other 2 bunks. at first i thought such disharmony couldn't be helped, it was kind of ca circumstantial thing. but i was indeed wrong, as such an educational divide exists even now, in my new PCG squad.

basically, during lessons, everyone sits in their cliques. the biggest clique of all, inevitably, happened to be the mat gang (it happens alot here in NS- somehow they just coalesce together). the next group, is kind of a sparsely-knit cluster of people, mainly chinese, and ITE graduates. together, these 2 cliques occupy the front half of the classroom, and they tend to socialize fairly well during lessons. next comes the neutral zone, housing about 6 of us (all from various backgrounds- diploma, ITE, A levels). we aren't particularly close or anything, but we have pretty decent conversations from time to time. this group occupies the middle portion of the classroom. and finally, there's the clique of JC grads (all of them SC CPLs, mostly english-speaking, pretty closely-knit) which occupies the back half of the classroom. the mats seldom or never mix with the neutral zone or JC grad clique, choosing to hang out with the chinese clique instead. and, the chinese clique has this grudge against the JC grad clique (apparently they can't stand the attitude of the SC CPLs). by now, you should have realised that i must be one of the most neutral people around in the squad, lest i would not have found out the nature of the different cliques. in fact, i pretty much am. i get along well with the CPLs, mainly coz they are english-speaking. for the chinese clique, i try to acknowledge them whenever possible, laughing along at their lame jokes (probably rolling my eyes mentally). as for the mats, well. i've never gotten along well with this kinda people, even back in my sji days.

ultimately, i'm like stuck at the crossroad? liked by both the warring cliques (chinese clique vs. CPL clique), though the former has expressed clearly its disapproval of me siding the latter.

sadly, when forced to take sides, i'd probably join the latter. even though the latter may be the minority. the reason? well, i kinda agree with naveen that most of these ITE guys are 'tards. note, that was a qualified statement: MOST not ALL. there are exceptions, like for example this ITE guy in our neutral zone clique, who i get along with pretty well.

in a way, such behaviour can be attributed to the education system i guess. i mean, how often do you see ITE grads and JC grads hanging out together, chilling out and hsving coffee together? like virtually never? sad, but true. its pretty sad.

which brings me to the point of this post: basically, squad 04/05 is as disunited as 52/04. enough said.

10:14 PM

nicknames i've acquired over the years:

1.dark templar
2.ran jie(whatever that means)
3.da cat (long story, dates back to sec 2 lol)
4.psy
5.teddy bear (-_-)
6.jayfish (what the mantous call me)
7.jay
8.jay chou (-_-)
9.jj (NS friends, especially at PCG)?
10.jay-Z (NS friends again)
11.penguin (by ben, my bunkmate lol.)

the horror. -_________-

Sunday, April 17, 2005
2:11 AM

shallowness is the key to achieving stability of mind, at least to a certain extent.

Saturday, April 16, 2005
10:22 AM

zzz.imagine sitting through a 6 hour lecture on Seamanship. thats exactly what i did on friday. our instructor was this SSI (senior station inspector), who's been in the force for over 25years. although he shared some of his interesting experiences with us, the lecture was still pretty much boring -_-. wonder how many more weeks of seamanship theory i have to endure before i can get out to sea?

seems that we have to learn how to use M16, HK, MP5 and the taurus revolver (which we already learnt how to use during basic training). bah, the bad thing about rifles is that there's no lasersight. have to use ironsight all the way -_-. and sad to say, my iron sight aiming is pretty horrible. i got my marksman rating totally from lasersight aiming.lol!

well, anyway, our training grounds are gonna be demolished very soon (end of this year i think). brani naval base used to be an army camp (explaining the horrible conditions). currently the new PCG HQ is being built just next to e base, and once its opened, the HQ will shift operations from kallang to brani. as for our training grounds, i think it will be handed over to POLCOM (police communications). the POLCOM building is actually the most intriguing piece of architecture around there. for one thing, it looks pretty out of place- a chalet/resort-style building sandwiched between a construction site, and the shoddy brani naval base. besides that, the building has extremely high security enforcement. apparently, there are no lock-and-key doors in the building, everything is electronically operated, and you have to use a smart card to enter. and its also guarded by several cisco officers (armed with revolvers), and PCG sentry officers (armed with HK i think). anybody caught illegally trespassing the complex will be gunned down immediately, or so our OC says. actually i'd like to explore the interior of the building, especially the central ops room (which is underground). i've only seen pictures of it, showing high tech equipment, and comp screens everywhere. damn cool. looks just like a covert ops base.

oh, and i survived my survival jump!lol.basically, we were made to stand at the bow of the boat (forgot which class, PT-class or PC class boat i think), climb over the protective railing, and stand at the tip of the boat basically. looks like attempted suicide from afar.lol. basically, you just have to stand straight, pinch your nose, and not look down (coz if you do, you'll see the sea (which is pretty far below), and your legs will get shaky). when you're ready, you just have to report to the SSI, and then take one step off the edge, and plunge right in. the feeling was really awesome. i mean, combine fear, anxiety and excitement..the adrenaline rush was enthralling. the anticlimax for me was when i landed into the sea, coz i released my grip on my nose, so basically salt water gushed into my nose. and i accidentally gulped a few mouthfuls of sea water. it was so damn salty.ughh.lol. and then i just floated around aimlessly, waiting for my buddy to tow me to the liferaft (since i can't swim). looking back, i think i wouldn't mind jumping again. just for the adrenaline rush. sweeeeeeet.

ogay, thats all for now. details of my USP interview later...

Wednesday, April 13, 2005
7:34 PM

i just got volume 1 of my reading materials for Seamanship, and its definitely not looking good. just this first volume alone occupies a ring file (the kind with bigger than average rings -_-). who knows how many volumes there are? besides, seanmanship is merely one of the subjects we got to cover. there's still navigation, rule of the road, gunnery, defensive tactics etc etc etc. looks like a coast guard wannabe has to be a mugger too? according to my OC, it takes 5 years to fully train an independent full-fledged coast guard officer, and costs about 100-200k per trainee. seems the responsibilities of a PCGO are pretty high i guess. i mean, a steersman has to navigate a 3million dollar patrol boat?

sigh, anyways i'm having my survival jump tomorrow, so, lets pray i survive yea?

7:31 PM

got this from huijun's blog.





You Are 29 Years Old



29





Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.




old man at heart? -_-

Monday, April 11, 2005
10:15 PM

i'll still try to be as enthusiastic (lol) as possible. i want my SC SGT rank dearly, and my rank depends totally on my perfomance in this training.zzzz.

correction: well, it seems that my rank does not depend on my performance, but rather my qualifications (which i have- A levels), shooting (marksman- how much higher can one go?) and ippt (which i failed? *gasp*). therefore, in essence all i need to do is to pass my ippt and i'll get my SC SGT rank. right. easier said than done.

oh, and i have to go for the USP interview next week. i'm thinking i'll go in smart-casual attire, since i'm too lazy to shop for a shirt and a tie just for the damn interview.

correction: according to reliable sources i have to be dressed in formal attire. just great.

ng'tnpnpj35p0j-93osm f;almfmp2 =\l mgslmf;=0i=i[pkktwelawfw ggrrrrrrr i feel so burdened this week and its only monday arghhhhhhhhh

WOE IS ME.

Saturday, April 09, 2005
11:36 PM

Welcome we love you
We hate you
We love you
We want you
We need you
We wish we were like you
They say you're a saint
You're a whore
You're a sinner
That he had you
He made you
He can't live without you.

Would you confess if we asked
That you nurture the urge
To declare that it's time
To settle down
With a man of your own
You want a baby
A family
A piece of security

Shut your mouth
Try not to panic
Just shut your mouth
If you can do it

What's your opinion on the dire situation
In our land here
Our guest here
Of course you'll be nice here
How do you feel about god and religion
Are you good people
Bad people
Guess it doesn't matter people.

Your place
My place
Make her bring that famous face
You got some
You want some
You wanna let me get you some
We know your music but of course we'd never buy it
It's too fake man
Right man!
We don't give a fucking damn.

I hear you say it
Play it smart girl
Win the game love
Give 'em what they want
What they want to see and you could be a big star
You could go far
Make a landmark
What have you been reading you smart girl?
Win the game love
Give 'em what they want
What they want to see and you could be a big star
You could go far
Make a landmark
Make a shit load.

And the world spins by
With everybody moaning
Pissing, bitching and everyone is shitting
On their friends
On their love
On their oaths
On their honour
On their graves
Out their mouths
And their words say nothing

I waited to say something
Oh shut your mouth
I wanted to say something
Oh shut your mouth
I wanted to be something
Oh shut your mouth

-Shut Your Mouth, Garbage

i heard Garbage has just released a new album. hmm...is that true? if so, i can't wait to get my hands on it.

8:48 PM

happy belated birthday to me =) hmm. not that i've been one who eagerly looks forward to birthdays, but i've noticed that as the years go by, birthdays seem to become increasingly insignificant? lol.

anyway, in a bizarre twist of fate, i got posted to Police Coast Guard (one of the line units), unlike the rest of my squadmates who got posted to support departments. this means that i have to attend specialist training (namely, the Maritime Policing Course) for 3 months, before i can graduate as a full-fledged police coast guard officer. i'm not totally eager about going through this course because 1) i can't swim (wtf??) and 2) i may be fitter after 4 months in NS, but i'm still unfit anyway. as if that isn't bad enough, many of my new squadmates were ex-permanent i/cs, or best trainees (basically the cream of the 118th intake). which is why i'm utterly puzzled as to why the heck i've been posted to a frontline vocation.

needless to say, i'm gonna be in deep shit when i report to the PCG kallang base on monday at 0700hrs.

i'll still try to be as enthusiastic (lol) as possible. i want my SC SGT rank dearly, and my rank depends totally on my perfomance in this training.zzzz.

oh, and i have to go for the USP interview next week. i'm thinking i'll go in smart-casual attire, since i'm too lazy to shop for a shirt and a tie just for the damn interview. hope everything goes well.. i'm practically lusting for the 2 semesters at australia and the exchange programmes. lol.

Friday, April 01, 2005
9:29 PM

i did it. passed my exams, which means i'm getting the fuck out of TRACOM on thursday, april 7, after the passing out parade for the 118th intake.

honestly, i have to say i'm rather appalled by our OC's choice of award winners. i mean, his choice of best trainee was absolutely retarded? some PES C joker with a fucking attitude problem gets to be the best trainee? sure, he may be fit, but just cause half the squad is PES B doesn't make us inferior to the 'fit' PES Cs in any way. damn it la.zzz.

squad 52 would have been much better off without some of those fucking PES Cs anyway. orginially, the 14 of us were from the prep course intake, and we were doing fine. our marching was decent, and our discipline was satisfactory. hell, we even got our pes status upgraded to PES B. but what have the PES Cs done for the squad? very much indeed. from 'keng'-ing pt, to fucking up our squad's drills, you name it. they've done so much for us man.

i'm just pissed off by the way our OC has chosen the best trainee. he certainly has not done any justice to us PES Bs who have been slogging for the past 3 months. fuck you, OC.