<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d7074329\x26blogName\x3dThe+Confessions+of+an+Escapist\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLUE\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttps://celticdream.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://celticdream.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d-777412042830513170', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script> The Confessions of an Escapist v3
Saturday, February 26, 2005
10:43 PM

was talking to shiyun on our way back home from yt's place..and now i'm feeling really confused too. after thinking it over.

confusion-cum-anxiety-cum-depression.

but positivity is the way...as syun says.

bah. my life simply couldn't suck more.

Friday, February 25, 2005
8:55 PM

6 weeks left.

i need:

1. 1st Class or Marksman rating for my shooting
2. 90% & above for Law exam
3. Pass in PDT
4. 9mins & below for EOC
5. 90% & above for Drill test
6. D+12 for IPPT

i'm only worried about PDT, coz i totally hate it. and i'm abit doubtful of (1). and of course IPPT will be tough.

actually, no recourse will be just fine. i want my SC SGT rank asap.

Friday, February 18, 2005
7:45 PM

Romaji

What I get?
What you get?
Te ni shiteru mono wa
Shinjitai dake de
Gensou na no ka mo ne

What I say?
What you say?
Kotoba ni shinakucha
Tsutawaranai ka mo ne
Todokanai ka mo ne

Koko kara
Ima ga hajimaru

(chorus 1:)
A woman never runs away
A woman never hides away
In order to survive
Tatakai mo sezu ni
Iyashi motomeru mon ja nai

A woman never shows her fears
A woman never shows her tears
In order to survive
Namida wa tayasuku
Dareka ni miseru mon ja nai

What I need?
What you need?
Yokubou ga atte
Mitasarenai uchi wa
Daijoubu ka mo ne

What I lose?
What you lose?
Nakushite hajimete
Ki zuita da nante
Kikiakita ka mo ne

Ai nara
Koko ni aru kara

(chorus 2:)
A woman could be dangerous
A woman could be generous
In order to survive
Sonna ni itsu demo
Ii ko bakari de irarenai

A woman could be having fun
A woman could be like a nun
In order to survive
Itami wo shiranakya
Yasashiku nante irarenai

(repeat chorus 1&2)


English Translation

What I get?
What you get?
What I get may just be
Something I want to believe
It may just be an illusion

What I say?
What you say?
If I don't put it in words
It might not get across
It might not reach anyone

The present
Starts here

(chorus 1:)
A woman never runs away
A woman never hides away
In order to survive
You can't long for healing
Without a fight

A woman never shows her fears
A woman never shows her tears
In order to survive
Tears aren't something
To be shown to someone lightly

What I need?
What you need?
I have desires
As long as they're not satisfied
I might be all right

What I lose?
What you lose?
I might be tired of hearing
That you didn't know what you had
Until you lost it

Love
Is here

(chorus 2:)
A woman could be dangerous
A woman could be generous
In order to survive
I can't just be
A good girl all the time

A woman could be having fun
A woman could be like a nun
In order to survive
I can't be tender
Without knowing pain

(repeat chorus 1&2)


-Real Me, Ayumi Hamasaki

feminist(?) side of ayumi. interesting lyrics as always, music is of top-notch quality. after all, the track is from her Rainbow album, which IMHO is simply her best.

p.s. don't buy My Story. its a pretty disappointing album really.

7:38 PM

lol. when i went back on tuesday nite, i got screwed immediately at the guard room by karen "coz u're not supposed to come back when u're on MC". and then, on wednesday, i got screwed by Panther and Sam too. so i was forced to rot in the barracks on wed and thurs (i was only allowed to attend lessons). not surprisingly, our extremely-slack OC squad ponned the lessons on wed and thurs. so effectively there were no lessons. and effectively i wasted my MC..i could have stayed home and enjoyed myself man..

sometimes i just feel that i'm not cut out to be a police officer.

Monday, February 14, 2005
1:01 AM

holy. 3 hours in SGH, one blood test, and one x-ray later, i'm back home with 5days MC. apparently i got some chest infection or smth...zzzzz. i guess i'll stay home for one or two days, and then book back in. i definitely can't stay home for 5 days man.. i'll get blacklisted by my OC squad or smth.lol.

Saturday, February 12, 2005
9:33 AM

Romaji

machi ha zawameki
hito ha iradachi
yori ni tobi komu
tori tachi ha mou
oyasumi

yume ga mezame wo
osoreru you ni
kokoro ga koware
yuku no wo osore
nani hitotsu to shite
ataeyou to sezu
nani hitotsu to shite
eyou to shinai mama
itsu demo
riyuu wo sagashita

koe wo oshi koroshita kanariya tachi ha
nakenaku natta wake ja nakute
nakanai you ni to
koe wo oshi koroshita kanariya tachi ha
nakenaku natta wake ja nakute
koe wo oshi koroshita kanariya tachi ha
nakenaku natta wake ja nakute
tada nakanai to kimeta dake
datta no ka mo shirenai to
hayaku ki tsuite
nakanai to kimeta dake
ka mo shirenai to
hayaku ki tsuite ita nara motto...


English Translation

The city is alive
The people are restless
The birds that
fly into the night
are already asleep.

I fear
my dreams, waking up
My heart breaks
I'm afraid to go.
As long as I've
not gained anything
without giving
I'll always be
searching for a reason.

It's not that the canaries whose voices were crushed to death
couldn't cry.
They just didn't.
It's not that the canaries whose voices were crushed to death
couldn't cry.
It's not that the canaries whose voices were crushed to death
couldn't cry.
Maybe
they just chose not to.
Please notice soon.
Maybe
they just chose not to.
Please notice soon. If you're there, more...


-Kanariya, Ayumi Hamasaki

this song remains a mystery to me. first of all, its supposed to be a hidden track in LOVEppears, and yet, i can't seem to find it in my cd.zz. secondly, the Kanariya single cd contains like 10 different remixes of the song, but not the original version. so how the heck am i supposed to get hold of it?! anyone, if you do have it, send it to me immediately. ty.

Thursday, February 10, 2005
4:15 PM

watched Constantine last night. it wasn't as good as the reviews portrayed it though. true, it was indeed a breath of fresh air, and of course Keanu Reeves was still as slick as ever, even kinda Neo-esque. oh, and how could i forget? the voluptuous Rachel Weisz? the problem was, the plot was kinda underdeveloped, and the pace of the movie was way too fast. and there was a little too much humour (lol), and the ending was sooo anticlimax. i mean? everyone in the cinema was laughing hysterically? lol.

booking in tonight, bah. Panther's back.

9 weeks left..endure! lol.

Sunday, February 06, 2005
2:03 AM

the thing that really irks me about Panther is that no matter how much u hate him (i.e. to the fucking apple core), u still have to appreciate his presence in Echo Company.zzzz. like just this week? Panther was off to Thailand on friday, to help out in the tsunami aid thingy. which meant that he wasn't lurking around at echo coy on friday. this was necessarily supposed to be a good thing. because: 1) we wouldnt have to wake up at 0500, and fall in by 0545 to listen to his daily banter in the morning (read: morning briefing). 2) he wouldn't be in the OB office which meant that OBs would be spared from getting screwed upside down. 3) he wouldn't be around in the evening, so the whole company wouldn't have to walk out together (seriously, which company other than Echo has this lame policy? where all squads must walk out at the same time? its coz of this lame rule that i've been booking out late for the past few weeks zzzz)

talk about peace in Echo ever since the fit squad came. so we were all damn eager about friday, coz it was supposed to be extremely slack, since Panther was not around. but what do we get? Fadzalie, Sam, Shahideen arriving in the morning. complaining about people smoking in the barracks (duh, whats new?lol.). and then, the interesting thing was, Fadzalie alleged that there was "a big fight in Echo coy, among Prep course trainees, i have witnesses". wtf? okay, so he was right partly. coz there indeed was a fight among squad 52 members, but we managed to break it up and it seriously wasn't a huge fight, and besides, it occured way back in jan, even before the fit squads arrived. so why the weird timing? why come to Echo coy months later, and threaten to confine the company?

NOT to mention, that wasn't the only confrontation. in the afternoon, when the muslims were having prayers (the only time on fridays when we non-muslims can really slack in our barracks), Echo was infiltrated by Adam, and that Tan guy (the FI who has an indian name, looks malay, and speaks fluent chinese). and what were they there for? they wanted to sweep the entire company for contraband items. zzz. luckily for my bunk the lighter was disposed earlier, and the ciggs were stashed away in someone's locker. what happened in the end was, after all the room inspections, the FIs confiscated all handphones that were switched on (wtf) "coz you're not supposed to use your phone during training hours".

seriously, i doubt that all this shit would have happened if panther was around. hell, these NS FIs dont even dare to step into the company when he's around.

hence, from reading the above, you can see why i dread booking in on sunday. having Panther around is both a boon and a bane. ARGHHHHH why the heck did i end up in Echo company??!?!?!?

p.s. am i infringing the Police Force Act or the OSA by posting this entry?

p.p.s. sigh. seriously. policemen have no lives at all. we are all mere puppets, slaves of the government.

Saturday, February 05, 2005
8:41 AM

i'm kinda tired of my life already. feel like giving up. NS is so damn boring. zzz, anyway there's about 9weeks left to POP. the last thing i need is to get recoursed for my shooting, which is fucking poor. nvm. next frame i will use laser.