9:36 AM
I..was waiting all my life in a room
(I'm all about you)
And now..I'm staring in your eyes in shea flour
(I'm all about you)
And in my mind, it comes to reasoning
But theres a feeling of no complete
I want to show you,
But theres nowhere we can really be free
Everybody's watchin'
Wouldn't it be good if we could be together
Take me away,
Take me far away from here
I will run with you
Don't be afraid
Navigatin' at the steer
Soon, but son, we will run
I try...to remember when I was just a child
(In a roo-oom)
And my...imagination used to run wild
(I never knee-ew)
Then nothing ever as it seems to be
When you dream of life as a reality
It should be easy when two people love each other --to me
Everybody's talkin'
Wouldn't it be good if people understand us...
Take me away,
Take me far away from here
I will run with you
Don't be afraid (afraid)
Navigatin' at the steer
Soon, but son, we will run..
We, will run.
Whoooaaa whoa whoa whoa
We, will run.
Oh yeah yeah yeaah
Wouldn't it be good if people understand us
Wouldn't it be good if we could be together...
TAKE ME AWAY!
Take me away, (take me away)
Take me far away from here
I will run with you
Don't be afraid (Don't..Be..Afraid)
Navigatin' at the steer
Soon, but son, we will run
Run, whoa whoa whooaa
I will run with you wherever you go
Don't be afraid
Let's runaway and at the steer
Soon, but son, we will run.
-Take Me Away, Fefe Dobson
7:31 PM
i'm gg'ed. (nvm, private joke)
Day 2 of CTs another horrible day. i was utterly disappointed with my performance in maths. i screwed it yet again, this is like the umpteenth maths test i'm screwing up. ARGH! that stupid poisson distribution question.. i didnt read 2 words, n it caused me to misunderstand the whole question so i got it wrong. -10. congrats. at least 30 marks worth of quesitons no time to do/no mood to do/ dunno how to do. congrats. i'm getting o7 or E again. congrats.
econs? lol? wait wait i'm so excited i must announce this again. you know, they mark our mcqs immediately while the other papers are going on, and the results were announced at the end. LOL 03s23 got second in the level. i'm like, wtf? MY CLASS got 2nd in level? how cool is that? lolololololol. winning average score= 15.5/25. but the mcqs were tough. the case study was also difficult. but the essays.. weren't that bad actually. but one of my essays was kinda skimpy.. so what will i get? a D? hopefully a C? hopeless.
4 down, 1 more to go. yea, lets make it through this horrendous period.
7:54 PM
ok so i decided to blog after all, i don't know why, i'm still slacking and tmr i've got 2 papers.
Day 1 of CTs what a horrible day. i was really quite disappointed with my performance for bio. well ok, paper 2 was easy (excretion and nervous control), the questions were pretty straightforward. but who would know the Option Paper was gonna be SO difficult?! and i thought biotech was about mugging. the medical biotech lecture notes has 55 pages i think, and guess what.. they tested GENE THERAPY.. the LAST 3 PAGES OF THE NOTES. must i even elaborate further? some questions were weird, i wasn't confident, i think i just messed it up. there goes the A, probably no B either.
gp was......
weird. the essay paper was quite strange, as in, the questions were kinda strange. i was very lethargic, so i just did an easy question. "A good school needs to be run like a good business." Discuss. the compre was weird too? the answers to the questions were too short, the summary was short too (80 words instead of the usual 100) and the AQ was a little weird. i believe i screwed the AQ coz i gave a really shallow and undetailed answer, but i really wasn't in the 'passionate' mood.
2 down, 3 more to go.
good luck guys~
10:22 AM
In a forest pitch-dark
Glowed the tiniest spark
It burst into flame
Like me
Like me
My name Isobel
Married to myself
My love Isobel
Living by herself
In a heart full of dust
Lives a creature called lust
It surprises and scares
Like me
Like me
My name Isobel
Married to myself
My love Isobel
Living by herself
When she does it she means to
Moth delivers her message
Unexplained on your collar
Crawling in silence
A simple excuse
Nana na nana
Nana na nana
In a tower of steel
Nature forges a deal
To raise wonderful hell
Like me
Like me
My name Isobel
Married to myself
My love Isobel
Living by herself
When she does it she means to
Moth delivers her message
Unexplained on your collar
Crawling in silence
A simple excuse
Nana na nana
Nana na nana
Nana na nana
Nana na nana
-Isobel, Bjork
had to post this. its my favourite bjork song of all time. sigh..argh. 1 more day to CT. i'm not really worried about GP or bio, i'm worried about my friggin maths which i haven't touched. argh. argh argh. anyway i won't be adding any entries anytime soon. probably only after CTs. till then, good luck to yall, mug hard.
9:54 PM
stumbled onto this at eunice's blog..
interesting? haha.
9:46 PM
What Emotion Dominates you? brought to you by Quizilla
umm..i guess it kinda describes me well.. at this point of time really. feelingless. numb from depression. ah well, aren't we all too familiar with the doldrums?
5:06 PM
today was.
a comedy of errors.
after the 20 or so smses last night sent among the 8 conspirators (of which i was one), it was decided that we would have to go down to school, and at least observe them for awhile. i was worried and anxious. but nvm. anyways, i met teo at the bus stop at 10, and we drearily went to sch, only to find that everyone had already gathered. it was the day of the ctss liondance exhibition. apparently it didnt concern us j2s, since we weren't the ones performing, the juniors were totally involved in it, cymbals drums and lino and all. but the thing is, weirdly, chong claimed that we j2s had promised her that we would go down to support the juniors. now wait a minute. when did we ever make this promise? i was like, wtf? nvm, it was still ok. i kept myself calm. so initially, we decided that we would just leave after helping the juniors to load all the props into the lorry. so we had a faceoff with chong. actually she wanted a parents' letter for our absence, but i think she kinda gave up on us in the end. well, she was being unreasonable, but i guess the fault is partly ours too, coz we keep making last minute cancellations of plans. so in the end, our emotions overrridden with guilt, we were psychoed to board the lorry. so now, the plan was, we would go along in the lorry, but we'd leave when we reached ctss. so yea, i kept my calm. it wasn't that bad really, being on the lorry with the troupe is always exciting even though i've been on such trips on many occassions. i was reluctant to drum, but was forced to by the seniors.. but it felt good. gosh, i haven't been drumming for so long, got kinda rusty. but the feeling was there. i could feel the adrenaline rush after drumming, its been a long time. so we got to ctss, helped them unload the props and all, and we finally left the place at around 1plus? on the pretext that we had to go get the veggie(chai) for the lion. actually us j2s, it was our opportunity to sneak off lol. so we had our lunch and all, i was kinda shagged out after the whole thing ended at around 1.30. i've come to realise that i'm really not on such good terms with the juniors. i mean, its not that i want to actually, they are quite nice people. but i just can't communicate with some of them. and chong keeps breathing down on my neck, "you better hand down your post properly. you have 1 week to do so." i mean, why is it always my fault? the new QM should take the initiative to ask me about his post. anyway i handed him my key today, yea, how sad. i've kinda officially stepped down as a QM.
and after the whole incident, i had this funny idea of going to get my hair cut. i was sick of my hippie look really, my hair was growing out of control. the queue at the barber was almost phenomenal. there were 12 people ahead of me in the queue, wtf? so i actually sat down and stoned.. i dunno.. for around 1.5hours? but the barber was quite friendly actually, he was like chatting with me the whole time, so it wasn't that bad. lol, and i have a new haircut. tanktop. better than my hippie hairstyle. its about as short as my hair can get.
so basically, i wasted the entire day. 3 days before CTs and here i am, going out. i'm insane. i'm doomed. i'm i'm i'm....... *too exasperated to type*
okok. i shall go off now. sighs.
1:10 PM
encounter with the dentist.i finally visited the dentist today, with much reluctance (not to mention procrastination for about 8months+?) and the thing was, things already started to screw up even before i reached the clinic. guess what. i boarded the wrong train, and i ended up in bugis instead of tiong bahru. geez. so i had to like take the train back to city hall. at city hall there were like 2 strangers who kinda cornered me, and they asked me how to get to orchard. there they were, asking someone who has no sense of direction, for directions. in my blur and confused state, i just blurted out "ya. there. that one" and directed them to the train that goes to marina bay. oops? its ok i guess? the train would have eventually made it back to orchard. so i was late, by half an hour. ama la. so embarassing. i had to apologize to the receptionist. finally, when i was called, i was kinda nervous and apprehensive, but the dentist as usual was still the same ol` friendly guy, and he started chatting with me. as usual, he thought i was from rj and i said "no, i'm from nj." yea, i've been correcting him since forever. then he went about drilling my teeth (is drilling the right word?) and he was like prodding and poking everywhere. the pain wasn't excruciating but it was like kinda sharp. i think my salivary glands were abit hyperactive coz i think i drooled abit. gross. the torture was over in about 7mins or so. and GUESS WHAT? the doc said i only need to get my teeth checked once a year, not once every 6 months like always. WOOHOO muahahahha what a good riddance sia. i'll only have to see him once a year. thats perfectly great!
on my way home i stumbled onto cw and gang; they were goin to 6th avenue for lunch. i felt kinda guilty turning them down but i really didnt wanna be out any longer, so i just came back home.
back to reality. 5 more days to CTs and i just started on bio. maths is screwed, left it hanging halfway. chem has completely diffused out of my brain. i can only feel econs being retained in my head. i'm NOT screwed. ama la.
2:36 PM
oooooh. kelis is soooo sexy. lol.
2:27 PM
I'm only happy when it rains
I'm only happy when it's complicated
And though I know you can't appreciate it
I'm only happy when it rains
You know I love it when the news is bad
And why it feels so good to feel so sad
I'm only happy when it rains
Pour your misery down,
pour your misery down on me [x2]
I'm only happy when it rains
I feel good when things are going wrong
I only listen to the sad sad songs
I'm only happy when it rains
I only smile in the dark
My only comfort is the night gone black
I didn't accidentally tell you that
I'm only happy when it rains
You'll get the message by the time I'm through
When I complain about me and you
I'm only happy when it rains
Pour your misery down,
pour your misery down on me [x3]
Pour your misery down
You can keep me company as long as you don't care
I'm only happy when it rains
You wanna hear about my new obsession
I'm riding high upon a deep depression
I'm only happy when it rains
Pour some misery down on me
-Only Happy When It Rains, Garbage
a song that perfectly describes me? sigh, its sunday alr.. roughly 7 more days to CT. my revision is going nowhere. i've forgetten everything i've studied, especially chem and maths. haven't even touch bio. the only thing i remember is econs, lol, coz i was so passionate about revising macroecons. so should i go for the outing tmr? i guess. not. unless fong peng likes forces me to go or smth. oh and it's nav's bday today. hope ya enjoy yourself. ok, i'm gonna enjoy slacking awhile more before i hit the books again.
some life.
cya.
10:00 AM
sigh. wonder how the 401 outing will be like? its been ages since we've had a class outing, it'd be interesting to meet them after such a long time. but i guess the timing of the outing is wrong.. from what i've heard, not many people are actually going. everyone wants to mug actually. sigh. so here i am. one of the ponners. how do i motivate myself to study? every so often, when i actually sit down to study, i find that my attention span lasts only for like 2 or 3 hours at most. and i feel numb when i'm studying, i'll be like chanting everything.. it'll all enter and leave my brain simultaneously. like i studied food chem the other day, and today i'm like wtf? do i actually remember anything i studied? how do people manage to mug everything so thoroughly? i know, the motivation is the A on the progress report, but is that really all we can hope for? it doesnt convinve me to want to study more. anyways, i've never gotten an A anyway, i don't know what it feels like to get one. well, what can i say? there's around 10 more days left. hope i'll make good use of the 1 week remaining. ok i know i can't get As. but i don't wanna see a string of Es again.
{irrelevant comment}p.s. omg. theres a 6A outing on monday omgomgomgomgomg. should i go? i'll freak out??!! meeting them after 6 years? do you have ANY idea how much i've changed over this half a decade? hmm..is zhenjie going? if she goes then i'll go.. muahahhaa.{/irrelevant comment}
3:17 PM
9:59 AM
With one light on in one room,
I know you're up when I get home
With one small step upon the stair,
I know your look when I get there
If you were a king up there on your throne,
Would you be wise enough to let me go?
For this queen you think you own
Wants to be a hunter again,
Wants to see the world alone again
To take a chance on life again, so let me go
The unread book and painful look,
The TV's on, the sound is down
One long pause, then you begin,
Oh look what the cat's brought in
If you were a king up there on your throne,
Would you be wise enough to let me go?
For this queen you think you own
Wants to be a hunter again,
Wants to see the world alone again
To take a chance on life again,
So let me go, let me leave
For the crown you've placed upon my head feels too heavy now
And I don't know what to say to you but I'll smile anyhow
And all the time I'm thinking, thinking
I want to be a hunter again,
Want to see the world alone again
To take a chance on life again, so let me go
-Hunter, Dido
9:35 AM
lets rewind to tuesday night. haha, it was the night of the long awaited ld dinner (after weeks of planning). and guess what? it was actually HAN who planned the outing (can you believe it? haha..jk). so there we were, stranded at orchard mrt. as usual, we couldn't decide where to go, but teo was dying to go to swensens, so swensens it was. so we had our dinner, enjoyed some conversation (emphasis: some). the real 'fun' came after dinner. it was time for dessert, and we ordered an earthquake (god its been ages since i indulged in such sinful ice cream). so you know, everyone was digging in and there was kinda an accident. while trying to scoop up ice cream, a spoon collided with the container of dry ice. and the container tipped over to the side. and earlier we unscrewed the lid, which effectively meant that some carbonic acid had seeped into the remaining ice cream. but noone actually
saw it. so i happily went to scoop some ice cream, directly from the area of spillage. and the ice cream tasted sour/ fizzy. LOL. after that noone dared to eat the ice cream. so we were all like staring at the bowl for awhile, and suddenly mf poured some water into the dry ice container. and the whole thing started fizzing and steaming (lol). one thing leads to the next, and soon we were dumping teaspoons of ice cream into the diluted dry ice mixture (lol!!!). the effect was damn exciting. the whole thing started bubbling like some kinda goo/slime you see in retro horror flicks. we went hysterical, everyone was laughing away. and then i glanced to the right. from the corner of my eye, i realised something- the elderly caucasian couple sitting at the table next to us, they were practically staring at us, perhaps shocked at our childish actions? and then, they burst out laughing also (aiyo, so malu man..hahaha) and they asked us what caused that slimy effervescence..haha. so funny man. and after dinner, we went to take a neocard (as usual, with the girls around).
actually, it was basically another typical ld outing, but then, it was still quite fun la. lame things always happen at our outings. still, its fun to hang out with them. its a pity vincent and xinyi couldnt come though.. :/
10:10 PM
Dressmaker: .. waist size.. under bust.. bust size 31"..
Jas: Oh god, thats too tight. I want a bigger one.
(Jas's mum starts bragging about how a saree should be worn and stuff.)
Dressmaker: Don't worry Aunty, just let me do the measurements. In a saree, even these mosquito bites will look like big juicy mangoes.
-From the movie
Bend It Like Beckham
3:00 PM
aiya. so many things have ahppened over the course of the past 1.5 days. yesterday was quite a fun day. lazed around in bed till around 12+, and i intended to mug chem but i ended up watching tv again (no comments). then at night, mark wanted me to go over to play some of his mad new Xbox games, but we ended up watchning Bend It Like Beckham on channel 5 (LOL). its quite a heartwarming movie. the kind that lifts you out of the doldrums. by the time i got back it was around 11 and i decided to gb. when i went online, i discovered that josh was quitting gb (wtf?) and apparently handed over guildmaster duties to keef. the reason was coz josh was not happy with sam, and the two of them had a big quarrel, just after i left the other nite. come to think of it, i think i may have caused it but thats a different story anyway.. but sigh. hope sam/josh can get over their differences soon. its damn sian now that one member of the guild is gone.
today there was supposed to be an ex- s23 class gathering for breakfast. i wonder who went? wonder if doreen/pl gf and the usual people went for it. it would be quite strange i guess, meeting them after like 1 year? things have changed, and for that matter
i have changed. actually i wanted to go la, but i was kinda having my mood swing on sunday. and today is a monday, for godsakes. i definitely can't go out on a monday coz i'll usually take the entire day to recover from the usual blues. sigh. so i didnt go. but nvm, quite a few people weren't going anyway... han also didnt go.
still, i'm looking forward to the ld dinner tomorrow, been quite long since i saw the rest of e ld gang. ^^ till then, cya.
5:37 PM
Night lift up the shades
let in the brilliant light of morning
but steady there now
for I am weak and starving for mercy
sleep has left me alone
to carry the weight of unravelling where we went wrong
it's all I can do to hang on
to keep me from falling
into old familiar shoes
how stupid could I be
a simpleton could see
that you're no good for me
but you're the only one I see
love has made me a fool
it set me on fire and watched as I floundered
unable to speak
except to cry out and wait for your answer
but you come around in your time
speaking of fabulous places
create an oasis
dries up as soon as you're gone
you leave me here burning
in this desert without you
how stupid could I be
a simpleton could see
that you're no good for me
but you're the only one I see
everything changes
everything falls apart
can't stop to feel myself losing control
but deep in my senses I know
how stupid could I be
a simpleton could see
that you're no good for me
but you're the only one I see
-Stupid, Sarah Mclachlan
5:33 PM
sigh.
should i get a haircut? its been almost a month since i visited the barber. i look like a hippie now. hair is messy/floppy/too long/unspikeable.
june hols suck. to the core.
10:55 AM
okayyy.
its 11.00am and i'm here blogging? what has gotten into me? well.. dunno.. having mixed feelings, you know? somewhat happy and depressed at the same time? yea, thats me. stil, i'm kinda relieved that i don't have a splitting headache today. i hate it when they come. and it didnt help that i had to stay up till 1am last nite, just to sms j.t. to entertain her. am i too nice?
was reading en's blog juz now. i'm still amazed that he actually never took the initiative to sms you. and you went to sms him instead..dot. but nvm, since it makes you happy :/
yea, seems like there are many people who are depressed out there, judging from their blogs. what can i say. join the club. haha, no la, try to be optimistic unlike me. things will brighten up one day, really. i know.
9:08 PM
Heart of Crystal
What is Your Heart REALLY Made of? brought to you by Quizilla
Ghost or spirit: You are a lost soul. Very calm and
sweet, you are often the one who asks: What if?
With a clever mind, you want to explore the
world on a different level. Without the
answers, you aren't ready to move on. You are
most likely very creative and find yourself
thinking things through on a different level.
Where will you go when you die? brought to you by Quizilla
Rain: You are the sound of rain. You have two
important sides. There is your strong, powerful
side and your calm, gentle side. Both are very
important. Rain also reflects a bit of darkness
in your personality. It isn't bad, just shows
that along with the good, you also can see bad,
which can come in handy.
What Sound Are You? brought to you by Quizilla
haha, i stumbled upon these quizzes when i was reading teo's blog, and the funny thing is, the results for me are almost exactly the same as hers, haha. except that i'm a lost soul and she'll go to heaven haha.
bad headache man.
nite.
8:55 PM
Your heart is not open so I must go
The spell has been broken, I loved you so
Freedom comes when you learn to let go
Creation comes when you learn to say no
You were my lesson I had to learn
I was your fortress you had to burn
Pain is a warning that something's wrong
I pray to God that it won't be long
Do ya wanna go higher?
There's nothing left to try
There's no place left to hide
There's no greater power
Than the power of good-bye
Your heart is not open so I must go
The spell has been broken, I loved you so
You were my lesson I had to learn
I was your fortress
There's nothing left to lose
There's no more heart to bruise
There's no greater power
Than the power of good-bye
Learn to say good-bye
I yearn to say good-bye
There's nothing left to try
There's no place left to hide
There's no greater power
Than the power of good-bye
There's nothing left to lose
There's no more heart to bruise
There's no greater power
Than the power of good-bye
-The Power of Goodbye, Madonna
9:42 PM
you're one BLUR sotong.
you toot!
OMG OMG OMG OGMGOOMGOGMGOGMGOGMGOGMGOGMGOGGMG
DAMN! i missed the eclipse. i thought u can't see it in Asia, when the article actually said it can ONLY BE SEEN IN ASIA!!
dang it.
nvm, i'll wait for 112 years. just watch me.
2:07 PM
i think i'm paranoid.
everytime i sneak out of my house to go to 7-11 to get a snack, i'll become like hypersensitive. superconscious of the surroundings. and i'll rush back within a minute or to, back to the safety of my home (my haven?). haha. i'm claustrophobic. fear of crowded places? heh.
that aside, i'm in a good mood today ^^ funny isn't it. i get severe mood swings. just 12 hours ago i was in some rotten, foul mood. and now i'm happy. sheesh. even i don't understand myself.
hey, did you guys read the papers? there's supposed to be some kinda eclipse between Venus and the sun today? i think Venus, the earth and the sun are supposed to be aligned or something. it happened at about 1.19pm (sg time). too bad we can't see it in Asia. you have to be in europe or middle east to be able to observe it. sigh, those people are so lucky!
anyways, i'll go back to mugging now. cya later. ciao~
9:32 PM
i'm beginning to question my existence again. sigh. why am i stuck in this rotten world anyway? everything sux. it really does. been staring at the moon lately. moongazing. come to think of it, it'd be good if i could live on the other side of the moon. totally hidden away from anything terrestrial. totally visible to vast alien surroundings- mars, venus and all. it'd be cool right? just me myself and i. no stress, no shit, no fucked up incidents.
bah. i just need some time alone. or do i need alot of time alone? i'm allergic to people. go away. stop disturbing me. leave me alone.
well. playing gb did help me to relieve abit of this gloom. especially when its with a friend, like en. haha. sniff.. i'll log out now. don't think anyone wants to hear/see me ranting and raving anymore.
9:21 PM
Welcome we love you
We hate you
We love you
We want you
We need you
We wish we were like you
They say you're a saint
You're a whore
You're a sinner
That he had you
He made you
He can't live without you.
Would you confess if we asked
That you nurture the urge
To declare that it's time
To settle down
With a man of your own
You want a baby
A family
A piece of security
Shut your mouth
Try not to panic
Just shut your mouth
If you can do it
What's your opinion on the dire situation
In our land here
Our guest here
Of course you'll be nice here
How do you feel about god and religion
Are you good people
Bad people
Guess it doesn't matter people.
Your place
My place
Make her bring that famous face
You got some
You want some
You wanna let me get you some
We know your music but of course we'd never buy it
It's too fake man
Right man!
(We don't give a FUCKING damn.)
I hear you say it
Play it smart girl
Win the game love
Give 'em what they want
What they want to see and you could be a big star
You could go far
Make a landmark
What have you been reading you smart girl?
Win the game love
Give 'em what they want
What they want to see and you could be a big star
You could go far
Make a landmark
Make a shit load.
And the world spins by
With everybody moaning
Pissing, bitching and everyone is shitting
On their friends
On their love
On their oaths
On their honour
On their graves
Out their mouths
And their words say nothing
I waited to say something
Oh shut your mouth
I wanted to say something
Oh shut your mouth
I wanted to be something
Oh shut your mouth
what a song. been blasting it on my winamp today. rotten mood. its bad to quarrel with parents? but sometimes they don't make any sense. and they always claim to be right. gosh, just fuck off.
on a lighter note, i managed to mug today (lol). maths yay. thanks to those who smsed me btw. i would have stoned to death without u guys.
8:28 PM
but i'd just like to emphasize how pissed i am with the damn track and field meet. yes, i'm talking about HOUSE CHEERLEADING RESULTS. i mean, what kinda bull was that? everyone knew who the top 3 were supposed to be. it wasn't really that much of a speculation. basically, 3 of the 6 really sucked, and 3 were of good quality. and TERRA, by far, was GOOD. and it DESERVES at least a 3rd. NOT SOME SHIT 4th placing. apparently, the cheerleaders stepped out of the matted area or something but i think thats all just bull. why do some people resort to such childish means just so that their house wins? i really do sympathise with the terra cheerleaders really, they were really so dedicated and passionate, hell, even i was motivated to cheer on for terra, how amazing is that? the truth remains, despite the outrageous results, terra rawked your asses and you know it. BAH.
umm.. that was just a snippet from my old blog.. i was reading through it just now. to think i was so full of angst over a trivial matter such as house events? amazing isn't it? actually, i can be highly motivated, but it will have to be induced by the surroundings. ie. i'm not self-motivated. if i were, i'd be able to achieve alot more i guess. funny isn't it? some of my friends actually said i'd make a good house rep. ha.. that will be the day.
8:13 PM
boo.
i'm fucking BORED BORED BORED. horrible sunday. rotted at home again, didnt even go out at all. zzz. tried to study maths, but gave up after awhile. darn those functions. ended up staring @ the comp. went online. wanted to play gb. ama la. none of them- en, liz, van, keef, sam, josh, hapy, heero- NONE WERE ONLINE. geez. so how was i supposed to play? nvm. i went to watch tv. ended up watching animal planet lolx. crocodile hunter was on, what a nice show. in today's episode steve was trekking the forests of new guinea with this interestingly weird tribesman. apparently, they were in search for the elusive tree kangaroo. in the end, they did manage to see it, and steve actually got to feed one. awww.. so cute!
bah. what a sunday? i learnt about tree kangaroos? sigh. i'm in need of some entertainment. any contenders? i'm soooooooooooo bored. geez.
7:57 PM
testing testing. yay. managed to upload a pic, lol. this is sarah mclachlan, who i'm addicted to at the moment. her songs are enchanting. they always put me in this dreamy mood. i duno why. well, doesn't she look enchanting in this pic? heh.
12:57 PM
umm, this is the fully tweaked layout. hope u guys like it. haha. btw, its best viewed in 800x600 resolution. i'll probably make my own blogskin and switch to a higher resolution when i'm not so noobish in designing. heh.
10:27 PM
bahh.
its the most boring saturday ever. i've been practically rotting away at home. didnt go out today, although i was supposed to (oops?). too zonked out. slept at 3am and awoke at 11am, switched on my hp, and i received smses from friends asking why i ponned the outing. sheesh. wasn't intentional really. was too tired after a nite of gaming.
sigh, today is the first night of sjab camp '04. brings back memories of all those camps i attended back in sji, the most memorable of coz the sec 4 one. the one where i made that sec 1 cry, lol. geez, time flies doesn't it? 2 years flashing by, so fast? actually,
yia invited me to go crash tonite but i was quite hesitant really. i mean, meeting all of them after one year? what if i have nothing to talk to them about? in the first place, i don't even know any of the current sec 4s personally, and i couldn't care less about them. so i made this lame excuse that i got something on so i wouldn't have to go. feel kinda guilty.
besides that, i'm supposed to be mugging anyway, but i've been suffering from a lack of motivation. motivation to study. today was one of those days again. immobilized by this weird feeling of hopelessness and helplessness, i roamed my house and lazed about in bed all day long. sheesh.
mayb tomorrow will be a better start? wait a minute.. am i starting to get optimistic? wow..
8:53 PM
Heaven bent to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight
Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear
Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
THe past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
The lonely light of morning
The wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I have held so dear.
I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
Heaven bent to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turned their heads embarassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
You'll slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed
Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
this song's been repeating over and over in my winamp. sarah mclachlan. kinda matches my mood right now.
feeling melancholic.
7:37 PM
OH MY. a new blog at blogspot, my dream has been realised after MONTHS. wooohoooo!. well, i guess i better zoom in to the credits first.
*drumroll*
first of all, to audrey (err. i don't think she knows me and i don't know her either) for the blogskin. its really really really awesome. and of course, how could i forget? TO MY BRO NAV for helping me with the layout and stuff. THANKS MAN! u've inspired me to start blogging again. [umm, pigeon, i'm sorry i didn't hire you as my designer as i promised..lol..]
the tagboard's not working for the moment. it'll be up and running soon. should i get a guestbook? is it too cliche?
AND i can finally LINK. sorry you guys, you had to bear with that lame old blog which couldn't have links. fear not. horizons have expanded with this new blog here. lol. anyone i missed out? just drop me a message and i'll link ya.
mmm.... more later.
ciao.
7:36 PM
9:36 AM
I..was waiting all my life in a room
(I'm all about you)
And now..I'm staring in your eyes in shea flour
(I'm all about you)
And in my mind, it comes to reasoning
But theres a feeling of no complete
I want to show you,
But theres nowhere we can really be free
Everybody's watchin'
Wouldn't it be good if we could be together
Take me away,
Take me far away from here
I will run with you
Don't be afraid
Navigatin' at the steer
Soon, but son, we will run
I try...to remember when I was just a child
(In a roo-oom)
And my...imagination used to run wild
(I never knee-ew)
Then nothing ever as it seems to be
When you dream of life as a reality
It should be easy when two people love each other --to me
Everybody's talkin'
Wouldn't it be good if people understand us...
Take me away,
Take me far away from here
I will run with you
Don't be afraid (afraid)
Navigatin' at the steer
Soon, but son, we will run..
We, will run.
Whoooaaa whoa whoa whoa
We, will run.
Oh yeah yeah yeaah
Wouldn't it be good if people understand us
Wouldn't it be good if we could be together...
TAKE ME AWAY!
Take me away, (take me away)
Take me far away from here
I will run with you
Don't be afraid (Don't..Be..Afraid)
Navigatin' at the steer
Soon, but son, we will run
Run, whoa whoa whooaa
I will run with you wherever you go
Don't be afraid
Let's runaway and at the steer
Soon, but son, we will run.
-Take Me Away, Fefe Dobson
7:31 PM
i'm gg'ed. (nvm, private joke)
Day 2 of CTs another horrible day. i was utterly disappointed with my performance in maths. i screwed it yet again, this is like the umpteenth maths test i'm screwing up. ARGH! that stupid poisson distribution question.. i didnt read 2 words, n it caused me to misunderstand the whole question so i got it wrong. -10. congrats. at least 30 marks worth of quesitons no time to do/no mood to do/ dunno how to do. congrats. i'm getting o7 or E again. congrats.
econs? lol? wait wait i'm so excited i must announce this again. you know, they mark our mcqs immediately while the other papers are going on, and the results were announced at the end. LOL 03s23 got second in the level. i'm like, wtf? MY CLASS got 2nd in level? how cool is that? lolololololol. winning average score= 15.5/25. but the mcqs were tough. the case study was also difficult. but the essays.. weren't that bad actually. but one of my essays was kinda skimpy.. so what will i get? a D? hopefully a C? hopeless.
4 down, 1 more to go. yea, lets make it through this horrendous period.
7:54 PM
ok so i decided to blog after all, i don't know why, i'm still slacking and tmr i've got 2 papers.
Day 1 of CTs what a horrible day. i was really quite disappointed with my performance for bio. well ok, paper 2 was easy (excretion and nervous control), the questions were pretty straightforward. but who would know the Option Paper was gonna be SO difficult?! and i thought biotech was about mugging. the medical biotech lecture notes has 55 pages i think, and guess what.. they tested GENE THERAPY.. the LAST 3 PAGES OF THE NOTES. must i even elaborate further? some questions were weird, i wasn't confident, i think i just messed it up. there goes the A, probably no B either.
gp was......
weird. the essay paper was quite strange, as in, the questions were kinda strange. i was very lethargic, so i just did an easy question. "A good school needs to be run like a good business." Discuss. the compre was weird too? the answers to the questions were too short, the summary was short too (80 words instead of the usual 100) and the AQ was a little weird. i believe i screwed the AQ coz i gave a really shallow and undetailed answer, but i really wasn't in the 'passionate' mood.
2 down, 3 more to go.
good luck guys~
10:22 AM
In a forest pitch-dark
Glowed the tiniest spark
It burst into flame
Like me
Like me
My name Isobel
Married to myself
My love Isobel
Living by herself
In a heart full of dust
Lives a creature called lust
It surprises and scares
Like me
Like me
My name Isobel
Married to myself
My love Isobel
Living by herself
When she does it she means to
Moth delivers her message
Unexplained on your collar
Crawling in silence
A simple excuse
Nana na nana
Nana na nana
In a tower of steel
Nature forges a deal
To raise wonderful hell
Like me
Like me
My name Isobel
Married to myself
My love Isobel
Living by herself
When she does it she means to
Moth delivers her message
Unexplained on your collar
Crawling in silence
A simple excuse
Nana na nana
Nana na nana
Nana na nana
Nana na nana
-Isobel, Bjork
had to post this. its my favourite bjork song of all time. sigh..argh. 1 more day to CT. i'm not really worried about GP or bio, i'm worried about my friggin maths which i haven't touched. argh. argh argh. anyway i won't be adding any entries anytime soon. probably only after CTs. till then, good luck to yall, mug hard.
9:54 PM
stumbled onto this at eunice's blog..
interesting? haha.
9:46 PM
What Emotion Dominates you? brought to you by Quizilla
umm..i guess it kinda describes me well.. at this point of time really. feelingless. numb from depression. ah well, aren't we all too familiar with the doldrums?
5:06 PM
today was.
a comedy of errors.
after the 20 or so smses last night sent among the 8 conspirators (of which i was one), it was decided that we would have to go down to school, and at least observe them for awhile. i was worried and anxious. but nvm. anyways, i met teo at the bus stop at 10, and we drearily went to sch, only to find that everyone had already gathered. it was the day of the ctss liondance exhibition. apparently it didnt concern us j2s, since we weren't the ones performing, the juniors were totally involved in it, cymbals drums and lino and all. but the thing is, weirdly, chong claimed that we j2s had promised her that we would go down to support the juniors. now wait a minute. when did we ever make this promise? i was like, wtf? nvm, it was still ok. i kept myself calm. so initially, we decided that we would just leave after helping the juniors to load all the props into the lorry. so we had a faceoff with chong. actually she wanted a parents' letter for our absence, but i think she kinda gave up on us in the end. well, she was being unreasonable, but i guess the fault is partly ours too, coz we keep making last minute cancellations of plans. so in the end, our emotions overrridden with guilt, we were psychoed to board the lorry. so now, the plan was, we would go along in the lorry, but we'd leave when we reached ctss. so yea, i kept my calm. it wasn't that bad really, being on the lorry with the troupe is always exciting even though i've been on such trips on many occassions. i was reluctant to drum, but was forced to by the seniors.. but it felt good. gosh, i haven't been drumming for so long, got kinda rusty. but the feeling was there. i could feel the adrenaline rush after drumming, its been a long time. so we got to ctss, helped them unload the props and all, and we finally left the place at around 1plus? on the pretext that we had to go get the veggie(chai) for the lion. actually us j2s, it was our opportunity to sneak off lol. so we had our lunch and all, i was kinda shagged out after the whole thing ended at around 1.30. i've come to realise that i'm really not on such good terms with the juniors. i mean, its not that i want to actually, they are quite nice people. but i just can't communicate with some of them. and chong keeps breathing down on my neck, "you better hand down your post properly. you have 1 week to do so." i mean, why is it always my fault? the new QM should take the initiative to ask me about his post. anyway i handed him my key today, yea, how sad. i've kinda officially stepped down as a QM.
and after the whole incident, i had this funny idea of going to get my hair cut. i was sick of my hippie look really, my hair was growing out of control. the queue at the barber was almost phenomenal. there were 12 people ahead of me in the queue, wtf? so i actually sat down and stoned.. i dunno.. for around 1.5hours? but the barber was quite friendly actually, he was like chatting with me the whole time, so it wasn't that bad. lol, and i have a new haircut. tanktop. better than my hippie hairstyle. its about as short as my hair can get.
so basically, i wasted the entire day. 3 days before CTs and here i am, going out. i'm insane. i'm doomed. i'm i'm i'm....... *too exasperated to type*
okok. i shall go off now. sighs.
1:10 PM
encounter with the dentist.i finally visited the dentist today, with much reluctance (not to mention procrastination for about 8months+?) and the thing was, things already started to screw up even before i reached the clinic. guess what. i boarded the wrong train, and i ended up in bugis instead of tiong bahru. geez. so i had to like take the train back to city hall. at city hall there were like 2 strangers who kinda cornered me, and they asked me how to get to orchard. there they were, asking someone who has no sense of direction, for directions. in my blur and confused state, i just blurted out "ya. there. that one" and directed them to the train that goes to marina bay. oops? its ok i guess? the train would have eventually made it back to orchard. so i was late, by half an hour. ama la. so embarassing. i had to apologize to the receptionist. finally, when i was called, i was kinda nervous and apprehensive, but the dentist as usual was still the same ol` friendly guy, and he started chatting with me. as usual, he thought i was from rj and i said "no, i'm from nj." yea, i've been correcting him since forever. then he went about drilling my teeth (is drilling the right word?) and he was like prodding and poking everywhere. the pain wasn't excruciating but it was like kinda sharp. i think my salivary glands were abit hyperactive coz i think i drooled abit. gross. the torture was over in about 7mins or so. and GUESS WHAT? the doc said i only need to get my teeth checked once a year, not once every 6 months like always. WOOHOO muahahahha what a good riddance sia. i'll only have to see him once a year. thats perfectly great!
on my way home i stumbled onto cw and gang; they were goin to 6th avenue for lunch. i felt kinda guilty turning them down but i really didnt wanna be out any longer, so i just came back home.
back to reality. 5 more days to CTs and i just started on bio. maths is screwed, left it hanging halfway. chem has completely diffused out of my brain. i can only feel econs being retained in my head. i'm NOT screwed. ama la.
2:36 PM
oooooh. kelis is soooo sexy. lol.
2:27 PM
I'm only happy when it rains
I'm only happy when it's complicated
And though I know you can't appreciate it
I'm only happy when it rains
You know I love it when the news is bad
And why it feels so good to feel so sad
I'm only happy when it rains
Pour your misery down,
pour your misery down on me [x2]
I'm only happy when it rains
I feel good when things are going wrong
I only listen to the sad sad songs
I'm only happy when it rains
I only smile in the dark
My only comfort is the night gone black
I didn't accidentally tell you that
I'm only happy when it rains
You'll get the message by the time I'm through
When I complain about me and you
I'm only happy when it rains
Pour your misery down,
pour your misery down on me [x3]
Pour your misery down
You can keep me company as long as you don't care
I'm only happy when it rains
You wanna hear about my new obsession
I'm riding high upon a deep depression
I'm only happy when it rains
Pour some misery down on me
-Only Happy When It Rains, Garbage
a song that perfectly describes me? sigh, its sunday alr.. roughly 7 more days to CT. my revision is going nowhere. i've forgetten everything i've studied, especially chem and maths. haven't even touch bio. the only thing i remember is econs, lol, coz i was so passionate about revising macroecons. so should i go for the outing tmr? i guess. not. unless fong peng likes forces me to go or smth. oh and it's nav's bday today. hope ya enjoy yourself. ok, i'm gonna enjoy slacking awhile more before i hit the books again.
some life.
cya.
10:00 AM
sigh. wonder how the 401 outing will be like? its been ages since we've had a class outing, it'd be interesting to meet them after such a long time. but i guess the timing of the outing is wrong.. from what i've heard, not many people are actually going. everyone wants to mug actually. sigh. so here i am. one of the ponners. how do i motivate myself to study? every so often, when i actually sit down to study, i find that my attention span lasts only for like 2 or 3 hours at most. and i feel numb when i'm studying, i'll be like chanting everything.. it'll all enter and leave my brain simultaneously. like i studied food chem the other day, and today i'm like wtf? do i actually remember anything i studied? how do people manage to mug everything so thoroughly? i know, the motivation is the A on the progress report, but is that really all we can hope for? it doesnt convinve me to want to study more. anyways, i've never gotten an A anyway, i don't know what it feels like to get one. well, what can i say? there's around 10 more days left. hope i'll make good use of the 1 week remaining. ok i know i can't get As. but i don't wanna see a string of Es again.
{irrelevant comment}p.s. omg. theres a 6A outing on monday omgomgomgomgomg. should i go? i'll freak out??!! meeting them after 6 years? do you have ANY idea how much i've changed over this half a decade? hmm..is zhenjie going? if she goes then i'll go.. muahahhaa.{/irrelevant comment}
3:17 PM
9:59 AM
With one light on in one room,
I know you're up when I get home
With one small step upon the stair,
I know your look when I get there
If you were a king up there on your throne,
Would you be wise enough to let me go?
For this queen you think you own
Wants to be a hunter again,
Wants to see the world alone again
To take a chance on life again, so let me go
The unread book and painful look,
The TV's on, the sound is down
One long pause, then you begin,
Oh look what the cat's brought in
If you were a king up there on your throne,
Would you be wise enough to let me go?
For this queen you think you own
Wants to be a hunter again,
Wants to see the world alone again
To take a chance on life again,
So let me go, let me leave
For the crown you've placed upon my head feels too heavy now
And I don't know what to say to you but I'll smile anyhow
And all the time I'm thinking, thinking
I want to be a hunter again,
Want to see the world alone again
To take a chance on life again, so let me go
-Hunter, Dido
9:35 AM
lets rewind to tuesday night. haha, it was the night of the long awaited ld dinner (after weeks of planning). and guess what? it was actually HAN who planned the outing (can you believe it? haha..jk). so there we were, stranded at orchard mrt. as usual, we couldn't decide where to go, but teo was dying to go to swensens, so swensens it was. so we had our dinner, enjoyed some conversation (emphasis: some). the real 'fun' came after dinner. it was time for dessert, and we ordered an earthquake (god its been ages since i indulged in such sinful ice cream). so you know, everyone was digging in and there was kinda an accident. while trying to scoop up ice cream, a spoon collided with the container of dry ice. and the container tipped over to the side. and earlier we unscrewed the lid, which effectively meant that some carbonic acid had seeped into the remaining ice cream. but noone actually
saw it. so i happily went to scoop some ice cream, directly from the area of spillage. and the ice cream tasted sour/ fizzy. LOL. after that noone dared to eat the ice cream. so we were all like staring at the bowl for awhile, and suddenly mf poured some water into the dry ice container. and the whole thing started fizzing and steaming (lol). one thing leads to the next, and soon we were dumping teaspoons of ice cream into the diluted dry ice mixture (lol!!!). the effect was damn exciting. the whole thing started bubbling like some kinda goo/slime you see in retro horror flicks. we went hysterical, everyone was laughing away. and then i glanced to the right. from the corner of my eye, i realised something- the elderly caucasian couple sitting at the table next to us, they were practically staring at us, perhaps shocked at our childish actions? and then, they burst out laughing also (aiyo, so malu man..hahaha) and they asked us what caused that slimy effervescence..haha. so funny man. and after dinner, we went to take a neocard (as usual, with the girls around).
actually, it was basically another typical ld outing, but then, it was still quite fun la. lame things always happen at our outings. still, its fun to hang out with them. its a pity vincent and xinyi couldnt come though.. :/
10:10 PM
Dressmaker: .. waist size.. under bust.. bust size 31"..
Jas: Oh god, thats too tight. I want a bigger one.
(Jas's mum starts bragging about how a saree should be worn and stuff.)
Dressmaker: Don't worry Aunty, just let me do the measurements. In a saree, even these mosquito bites will look like big juicy mangoes.
-From the movie
Bend It Like Beckham
3:00 PM
aiya. so many things have ahppened over the course of the past 1.5 days. yesterday was quite a fun day. lazed around in bed till around 12+, and i intended to mug chem but i ended up watching tv again (no comments). then at night, mark wanted me to go over to play some of his mad new Xbox games, but we ended up watchning Bend It Like Beckham on channel 5 (LOL). its quite a heartwarming movie. the kind that lifts you out of the doldrums. by the time i got back it was around 11 and i decided to gb. when i went online, i discovered that josh was quitting gb (wtf?) and apparently handed over guildmaster duties to keef. the reason was coz josh was not happy with sam, and the two of them had a big quarrel, just after i left the other nite. come to think of it, i think i may have caused it but thats a different story anyway.. but sigh. hope sam/josh can get over their differences soon. its damn sian now that one member of the guild is gone.
today there was supposed to be an ex- s23 class gathering for breakfast. i wonder who went? wonder if doreen/pl gf and the usual people went for it. it would be quite strange i guess, meeting them after like 1 year? things have changed, and for that matter
i have changed. actually i wanted to go la, but i was kinda having my mood swing on sunday. and today is a monday, for godsakes. i definitely can't go out on a monday coz i'll usually take the entire day to recover from the usual blues. sigh. so i didnt go. but nvm, quite a few people weren't going anyway... han also didnt go.
still, i'm looking forward to the ld dinner tomorrow, been quite long since i saw the rest of e ld gang. ^^ till then, cya.
5:37 PM
Night lift up the shades
let in the brilliant light of morning
but steady there now
for I am weak and starving for mercy
sleep has left me alone
to carry the weight of unravelling where we went wrong
it's all I can do to hang on
to keep me from falling
into old familiar shoes
how stupid could I be
a simpleton could see
that you're no good for me
but you're the only one I see
love has made me a fool
it set me on fire and watched as I floundered
unable to speak
except to cry out and wait for your answer
but you come around in your time
speaking of fabulous places
create an oasis
dries up as soon as you're gone
you leave me here burning
in this desert without you
how stupid could I be
a simpleton could see
that you're no good for me
but you're the only one I see
everything changes
everything falls apart
can't stop to feel myself losing control
but deep in my senses I know
how stupid could I be
a simpleton could see
that you're no good for me
but you're the only one I see
-Stupid, Sarah Mclachlan
5:33 PM
sigh.
should i get a haircut? its been almost a month since i visited the barber. i look like a hippie now. hair is messy/floppy/too long/unspikeable.
june hols suck. to the core.
10:55 AM
okayyy.
its 11.00am and i'm here blogging? what has gotten into me? well.. dunno.. having mixed feelings, you know? somewhat happy and depressed at the same time? yea, thats me. stil, i'm kinda relieved that i don't have a splitting headache today. i hate it when they come. and it didnt help that i had to stay up till 1am last nite, just to sms j.t. to entertain her. am i too nice?
was reading en's blog juz now. i'm still amazed that he actually never took the initiative to sms you. and you went to sms him instead..dot. but nvm, since it makes you happy :/
yea, seems like there are many people who are depressed out there, judging from their blogs. what can i say. join the club. haha, no la, try to be optimistic unlike me. things will brighten up one day, really. i know.
9:08 PM
Heart of Crystal
What is Your Heart REALLY Made of? brought to you by Quizilla
Ghost or spirit: You are a lost soul. Very calm and
sweet, you are often the one who asks: What if?
With a clever mind, you want to explore the
world on a different level. Without the
answers, you aren't ready to move on. You are
most likely very creative and find yourself
thinking things through on a different level.
Where will you go when you die? brought to you by Quizilla
Rain: You are the sound of rain. You have two
important sides. There is your strong, powerful
side and your calm, gentle side. Both are very
important. Rain also reflects a bit of darkness
in your personality. It isn't bad, just shows
that along with the good, you also can see bad,
which can come in handy.
What Sound Are You? brought to you by Quizilla
haha, i stumbled upon these quizzes when i was reading teo's blog, and the funny thing is, the results for me are almost exactly the same as hers, haha. except that i'm a lost soul and she'll go to heaven haha.
bad headache man.
nite.
8:55 PM
Your heart is not open so I must go
The spell has been broken, I loved you so
Freedom comes when you learn to let go
Creation comes when you learn to say no
You were my lesson I had to learn
I was your fortress you had to burn
Pain is a warning that something's wrong
I pray to God that it won't be long
Do ya wanna go higher?
There's nothing left to try
There's no place left to hide
There's no greater power
Than the power of good-bye
Your heart is not open so I must go
The spell has been broken, I loved you so
You were my lesson I had to learn
I was your fortress
There's nothing left to lose
There's no more heart to bruise
There's no greater power
Than the power of good-bye
Learn to say good-bye
I yearn to say good-bye
There's nothing left to try
There's no place left to hide
There's no greater power
Than the power of good-bye
There's nothing left to lose
There's no more heart to bruise
There's no greater power
Than the power of good-bye
-The Power of Goodbye, Madonna
9:42 PM
you're one BLUR sotong.
you toot!
OMG OMG OMG OGMGOOMGOGMGOGMGOGMGOGMGOGMGOGGMG
DAMN! i missed the eclipse. i thought u can't see it in Asia, when the article actually said it can ONLY BE SEEN IN ASIA!!
dang it.
nvm, i'll wait for 112 years. just watch me.
2:07 PM
i think i'm paranoid.
everytime i sneak out of my house to go to 7-11 to get a snack, i'll become like hypersensitive. superconscious of the surroundings. and i'll rush back within a minute or to, back to the safety of my home (my haven?). haha. i'm claustrophobic. fear of crowded places? heh.
that aside, i'm in a good mood today ^^ funny isn't it. i get severe mood swings. just 12 hours ago i was in some rotten, foul mood. and now i'm happy. sheesh. even i don't understand myself.
hey, did you guys read the papers? there's supposed to be some kinda eclipse between Venus and the sun today? i think Venus, the earth and the sun are supposed to be aligned or something. it happened at about 1.19pm (sg time). too bad we can't see it in Asia. you have to be in europe or middle east to be able to observe it. sigh, those people are so lucky!
anyways, i'll go back to mugging now. cya later. ciao~
9:32 PM
i'm beginning to question my existence again. sigh. why am i stuck in this rotten world anyway? everything sux. it really does. been staring at the moon lately. moongazing. come to think of it, it'd be good if i could live on the other side of the moon. totally hidden away from anything terrestrial. totally visible to vast alien surroundings- mars, venus and all. it'd be cool right? just me myself and i. no stress, no shit, no fucked up incidents.
bah. i just need some time alone. or do i need alot of time alone? i'm allergic to people. go away. stop disturbing me. leave me alone.
well. playing gb did help me to relieve abit of this gloom. especially when its with a friend, like en. haha. sniff.. i'll log out now. don't think anyone wants to hear/see me ranting and raving anymore.
9:21 PM
Welcome we love you
We hate you
We love you
We want you
We need you
We wish we were like you
They say you're a saint
You're a whore
You're a sinner
That he had you
He made you
He can't live without you.
Would you confess if we asked
That you nurture the urge
To declare that it's time
To settle down
With a man of your own
You want a baby
A family
A piece of security
Shut your mouth
Try not to panic
Just shut your mouth
If you can do it
What's your opinion on the dire situation
In our land here
Our guest here
Of course you'll be nice here
How do you feel about god and religion
Are you good people
Bad people
Guess it doesn't matter people.
Your place
My place
Make her bring that famous face
You got some
You want some
You wanna let me get you some
We know your music but of course we'd never buy it
It's too fake man
Right man!
(We don't give a FUCKING damn.)
I hear you say it
Play it smart girl
Win the game love
Give 'em what they want
What they want to see and you could be a big star
You could go far
Make a landmark
What have you been reading you smart girl?
Win the game love
Give 'em what they want
What they want to see and you could be a big star
You could go far
Make a landmark
Make a shit load.
And the world spins by
With everybody moaning
Pissing, bitching and everyone is shitting
On their friends
On their love
On their oaths
On their honour
On their graves
Out their mouths
And their words say nothing
I waited to say something
Oh shut your mouth
I wanted to say something
Oh shut your mouth
I wanted to be something
Oh shut your mouth
what a song. been blasting it on my winamp today. rotten mood. its bad to quarrel with parents? but sometimes they don't make any sense. and they always claim to be right. gosh, just fuck off.
on a lighter note, i managed to mug today (lol). maths yay. thanks to those who smsed me btw. i would have stoned to death without u guys.
8:28 PM
but i'd just like to emphasize how pissed i am with the damn track and field meet. yes, i'm talking about HOUSE CHEERLEADING RESULTS. i mean, what kinda bull was that? everyone knew who the top 3 were supposed to be. it wasn't really that much of a speculation. basically, 3 of the 6 really sucked, and 3 were of good quality. and TERRA, by far, was GOOD. and it DESERVES at least a 3rd. NOT SOME SHIT 4th placing. apparently, the cheerleaders stepped out of the matted area or something but i think thats all just bull. why do some people resort to such childish means just so that their house wins? i really do sympathise with the terra cheerleaders really, they were really so dedicated and passionate, hell, even i was motivated to cheer on for terra, how amazing is that? the truth remains, despite the outrageous results, terra rawked your asses and you know it. BAH.
umm.. that was just a snippet from my old blog.. i was reading through it just now. to think i was so full of angst over a trivial matter such as house events? amazing isn't it? actually, i can be highly motivated, but it will have to be induced by the surroundings. ie. i'm not self-motivated. if i were, i'd be able to achieve alot more i guess. funny isn't it? some of my friends actually said i'd make a good house rep. ha.. that will be the day.
8:13 PM
boo.
i'm fucking BORED BORED BORED. horrible sunday. rotted at home again, didnt even go out at all. zzz. tried to study maths, but gave up after awhile. darn those functions. ended up staring @ the comp. went online. wanted to play gb. ama la. none of them- en, liz, van, keef, sam, josh, hapy, heero- NONE WERE ONLINE. geez. so how was i supposed to play? nvm. i went to watch tv. ended up watching animal planet lolx. crocodile hunter was on, what a nice show. in today's episode steve was trekking the forests of new guinea with this interestingly weird tribesman. apparently, they were in search for the elusive tree kangaroo. in the end, they did manage to see it, and steve actually got to feed one. awww.. so cute!
bah. what a sunday? i learnt about tree kangaroos? sigh. i'm in need of some entertainment. any contenders? i'm soooooooooooo bored. geez.
7:57 PM
testing testing. yay. managed to upload a pic, lol. this is sarah mclachlan, who i'm addicted to at the moment. her songs are enchanting. they always put me in this dreamy mood. i duno why. well, doesn't she look enchanting in this pic? heh.
12:57 PM
umm, this is the fully tweaked layout. hope u guys like it. haha. btw, its best viewed in 800x600 resolution. i'll probably make my own blogskin and switch to a higher resolution when i'm not so noobish in designing. heh.
10:27 PM
bahh.
its the most boring saturday ever. i've been practically rotting away at home. didnt go out today, although i was supposed to (oops?). too zonked out. slept at 3am and awoke at 11am, switched on my hp, and i received smses from friends asking why i ponned the outing. sheesh. wasn't intentional really. was too tired after a nite of gaming.
sigh, today is the first night of sjab camp '04. brings back memories of all those camps i attended back in sji, the most memorable of coz the sec 4 one. the one where i made that sec 1 cry, lol. geez, time flies doesn't it? 2 years flashing by, so fast? actually,
yia invited me to go crash tonite but i was quite hesitant really. i mean, meeting all of them after one year? what if i have nothing to talk to them about? in the first place, i don't even know any of the current sec 4s personally, and i couldn't care less about them. so i made this lame excuse that i got something on so i wouldn't have to go. feel kinda guilty.
besides that, i'm supposed to be mugging anyway, but i've been suffering from a lack of motivation. motivation to study. today was one of those days again. immobilized by this weird feeling of hopelessness and helplessness, i roamed my house and lazed about in bed all day long. sheesh.
mayb tomorrow will be a better start? wait a minute.. am i starting to get optimistic? wow..
8:53 PM
Heaven bent to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight
Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear
Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
THe past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
The lonely light of morning
The wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I have held so dear.
I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
Heaven bent to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turned their heads embarassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
You'll slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed
Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
this song's been repeating over and over in my winamp. sarah mclachlan. kinda matches my mood right now.
feeling melancholic.
7:37 PM
OH MY. a new blog at blogspot, my dream has been realised after MONTHS. wooohoooo!. well, i guess i better zoom in to the credits first.
*drumroll*
first of all, to audrey (err. i don't think she knows me and i don't know her either) for the blogskin. its really really really awesome. and of course, how could i forget? TO MY BRO NAV for helping me with the layout and stuff. THANKS MAN! u've inspired me to start blogging again. [umm, pigeon, i'm sorry i didn't hire you as my designer as i promised..lol..]
the tagboard's not working for the moment. it'll be up and running soon. should i get a guestbook? is it too cliche?
AND i can finally LINK. sorry you guys, you had to bear with that lame old blog which couldn't have links. fear not. horizons have expanded with this new blog here. lol. anyone i missed out? just drop me a message and i'll link ya.
mmm.... more later.
ciao.
7:36 PM
